Mary Answers Our Prayers: (Bud Macfarlane and Family Prayer)

Mary answers our prayers
Perseverance in praying the Rosary taught the Macfarlane family to expect answers.

During my senior year at the University of Notre Dame, I taught another student how to pray the Rosary. Her name was Christi "Bai" TePas. Along with several friends, Bai and I consecrated ourselves to Mary Immaculate on Dec. 8, 1983.

Then, I lost track of Bai after I graduated. She spent the next seven years praying the Rosary every day to find a husband. And as Providence would have it, he turned out to be me!

In 1990, we were reunited and got married on Dec. 8. We consecrated our marriage to Our Lady, and our life together has been a spiritual adventure. In fact, just as perseverance in praying the Rosary brought us to the altar, so it became the foundation of our family prayer life and our work as lay apostles.

Let's fast-forward 12 years. God has blessed us with four sons. I wish I could say our family Rosary is a peaceful spiritual experience, but it rarely works out that way. Our boys are like all boys: energetic, good-natured, and given to struggles with each other and their own still-developing wills and virtues. This is a delicate way of saying that they're wild and warlike little men in the great Macfarlane tradition of our Scottish forebears.

Not surprisingly, our family Rosary time is often a struggle against distraction. We pray the Rosary as we put the boys to bed amidst endless squirming, frayed young nerves, and our own fatigue as hard-working parents.

Nevertheless, our sons have fallen asleep every night of their lives, from their time in the womb (for scientists have proven that unborn babies can hear what's going on outside) until this very day with their parents' and brothers' prayers of love to Jesus and Mary in their ears.

I believe Jesus gives us more grace despite these distractions. My wife and I do not have the luxury of meditating peacefully as we pray with Our Lady, but her faithfulness to us is what really matters. Besides, I doubt anybody in the Vatican will be considering canonizing me as an example of mystical contemplative prayer.

Daily persistence in family prayer is a widow's mite every family can offer God -- and this is just one lesson my sons learn as brothers of Christ and sons of Mary. We have learned, for example, to share the sublime joy of experiencing the sweetest fruit of our "spiritual labor." That is, our prayers are answered, sometimes after years of intercession.

We Macfarlanes have witnessed miracles great and small in the lives of our friends and relatives many times over. Unemployed fathers find jobs. As we did, our friends find spouses. Houses are sold. The lukewarm and fallen away are converted. No one will ever be able to convince my sons that prayers are not answered. Long after others have given up, my sons will know to keep praying.

Our Lady is teaching my sons other important lessons. Battles for souls begin and end with prayer. Family prayer is powerful prayer. Our Lady loves us not just as individuals, but as a family. And through the mysteries, my sons learn about Jesus -- that He was a little baby and a little boy, too.

They learn that Christians proclaim the kingdom of God without fear -- that if you want to save souls like Jesus, imitate His suffering. When the crosses of life knock you down, you get back up because that's what Jesus did. Our boys know that the Resurrection will come, and when it does, we will be with the Queen of Heaven, Mary, because she is the Queen of the Macfarlanes, too.

This is what is happening inside my sons' souls in the order of powers and principalities, despite the distractions, when the Macfarlanes pray together every night. Mary taught her Son these truths when He was a boy, and she is now teaching our sons -- and their parents -- these same lessons.

We also pray five 54-day Rosary novenas each year as a family, beginning or ending on the same five prominent feast days -- along with many thousands of friends and benefactors of our lay apostolate, the Mary Foundation, which sponsors these powerful novenas. My sons are learning that our family prayer can be joined with the family prayers of others in the Mystical Body of Christ.

We've distributed hundreds of thousands of free Rosary tapes and CDs over the years through the Mary Foundation, which my wife is fond of referring to as "our only daughter." I always take consolation that Bai's lovely voice, which I enjoy every night, leads the first decade of the Rosary on the tape, although few listeners realize this. My sons and I are happy to share!

Which brings us to last October. Because of my work, I had heard the rumors about the new Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary through the Internet grapevine. It was with great pleasure, then, that my wife shook my shoulder to wake me on Oct. 17, holding up a printout of the Pope's announcement. It was a beautiful beginning to a beautiful day for our family.

Amidst all the excitement, many folks missed that Oct. 16 -- the day the Holy Father proclaimed the Luminous Mysteries -- was a big day for him personally because it marked the start of the 25th anniversary year of his election as Pope.

When my wife woke me on Thursday morning, it was also a big day in the Macfarlane home. Our third son, Xavier Aquinas (no pressure with that name!), turned 5 years old on Oct. 17. Our family tradition is to have our 5-year-old begin leading the first mystery of the family Rosary each and every evening -- until the next son turns 5, at which point the older boys all jump "forward" to lead the subsequent mystery. Xavey was excited by the cake, the presents, and the prospect of leading all of us in the new mysteries later that evening. As it turns out, Thursday is also the day of the week Pope John Paul II recommended for meditating on the new mysteries, which focus on the public ministry of Jesus.

As if to add to Xavey's papal birthday gift, Oct. 17th is also the day that my family begins our favorite 54-day novena. Why is it our favorite? Because of the feast day on which the novena ends. So when Xavier led us in "the Baptism in the Jordan" -- christening the first Macfarlane family Rosary on the Luminous Mysteries, the most important new development in the most popular Catholic devotion in the world -- we were also beginning a novena that ended this past Dec. 8, the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception. Our little son had just led us in prayer to our 12th wedding anniversary and the 19th anniversary of my wife and I consecrating our hearts to Mary Immaculate!

There was another Macfarlane anniversary on Dec. 8, 2002. Our second child, whom Bai miscarried on that day, would have been 9 years old. The Macfarlanes echo our Holy Father's motto: we are all yours, Mary, and all that we have is yours, on earth and in heaven. We have the anniversaries and the birthdays, sufferings and joys to prove it.

Even though our family Rosary that evening came with the usual distractions, Xavey nailed his decade like a veteran. I'm sure Our Lady was smiling upon us on that mystically beautiful evening, and she confirmed to us that Xavey is a natural born leader. Twenty years from now, I'm sure Xavier and other Macfarlanes yet to be born will be offering their lives to Our Lady and praying the family Rosary. Perhaps one will be writing an article for this magazine.

Bud and Bai Macfarlane and their sons pray the Rosary together while spending time homeschooling, skiing, and hiking in Ohio and New Hampshire. Bud is the director of the Mary Foundation, the world's largest producer of Catholic audio tapes, and is one of America's favorite Catholic writers with over 700,000 novels in print. Free copies of his books or tapes are available at www.catholicity.com.

While all of you are boggling over George's posting, please bear in mind that to err is human, and somehow I feel that the pair of them will get together again and be stronger than ever in working for Jesus and Mary.

The fact that so many of you have been fortified in the Faith by the books and tapes that Bud puts out attests to the workings of the Holy Spirit in him. It makes the Other Side From Below jealous and he worked and caused this vile state of affairs. And if God permitted it, God will protect them now and eventually work his triumph in them again.

In the meantime, be on your guard, as Jesus said, for the Devil goes around like a roaring beast waiting for someone to devour. And here the Evil One is playing havoc, first on the MacFarlanes, and then on all the people that Bud has evangelised as they get demoralised and then decide to throw away everything he has preached, never mind that these teachings were the Truth.

The best thing you and I can do now is not to be demoralised and to pray for Bud and Bai and their Boys. And keep the Faith. Remember the Real Enemy in all this!!! Put blame where it should go!

I would like to say that I, like Bud and Bai, am devoted to Mary in the Total Consecration (like Pope John Paul II) and have been involved in evangelising by the printed word. It was very successful, judging by the number of people who came to me and said that my books converted them. I go around giving out Miraculous Medals to bring Our Lady's influence and protection to all.

And then! I also was hit with the same kind of nonsense that Bud and Bai are going through now. At every bad turn I gave all the suffering to God for the salvation of souls. And thus came out of it and now am more than surviving by saying rosary every night, and daily Mass, frequent confession, attending Bible study sessions and fasting twice a week -- the works! And my mess is completely gone!

I wish the two of them had never sought legal advice to settle their problems. Can you imagine two sets of lawyers keeping the two apart (otherwise they'd be seen as the guilty one if they made a move to be nice to the other!) and hence they are never going to come together again to pray as one and settle all these problems?

Ready, now, as Bud would say, "Pray with me!"

"Lord, Heavenly Father, save your servants from the ruins of their marriage. May you, who Created the World, send forth your Spirit to Re-create. May the glory of the Resurrection of your Son rest on Bud and Bai and their Boys, to bring them out of the Pit of Darkness created by the Unholy One into the Fullness of your Light and Truth again!

Lord Jesus, we pray that they may be One as you and the Father are One in Union with the Holy Spirit. You, who said you came so that we may have life and have it abundantly, give them this abundant life again! Let them rest in the fullness of your grace. Send forth your Spirit on them to teach them the fullness of Truth. Destroy all pride and ambition and false hopes that tear them apart.

May the Most Precious Blood that comes out of the Sacred Head of Our Lord Jesus Christ, Temple of Divine Wisdom, Tabernacle of Divine Knowledge and Sunshine of Heaven and Earth cover Bud and Bai and their Boys, now and forever!

Mother Mary, who once saw what the couple in Cana needed, look on Bud and Bai now, and see, they have no wine too! Refer the matter to your Son that he may fulfil all their needs! Visit both of them now as you once visited your kinswoman Elizabeth, to offer your presence and your help.

O Mary Conceived Without Sin, Pray For Us Who Have Recourse to You!

St Joseph, beloved of Jesus and Mary, Head of the Holy Family and Protector of the Church, you are also the patron of all husbands and fathers as their strength and example; you are the helper of all wives and mothers as you once were with Mary. Help Bud and Bai now who were devoted to you but lost their way. Ask your foster Son, the Good Shepherd to gather His Sheep into the same fold again.

Our Father ....

Hail Mary ....

Glory Be .....

(Remember them in the next rosary you pray.)

God Bless Bud, Bai, Boys and you and me! Amen

Dear George,

There are always two sides to a story. Here you are, a guy, feeling that This Guy is All Wrong. Here am I, a woman, a mother, a wife, and also dedicated to Mary in the True Devotion, resonating with Bud in his own Devotion, discussing things with him by e-mail, long years ago when all this was in the process of falling apart. He writes:

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and
your wonderful advice. Of course my
marriage has been attacked--it's been
under attack since we started the Mary
Foundation. We're used to it. I'm actually
fasting every Wednesday now as part
of E5, and will continue to do so until
the day I die. I'm confident in God's
power and that everything will turn out
fine and I've actually been in a very
optimistic mood.

Please, pray for us.

With Mary,

Bud Macfarlane Jr., MI

George, there are enough frightful women in the world who are wilful, opinionated, strong in personality, who are quite resistant to co-operating with their men. Maybe they are right, maybe they are wrong, maybe they need to react in a gentler way. You can see Bai is very vocal, and in her website, she claims not to be a saint and has her weak points. She said she was not perfect. I admire her for saying that, because it is true for every woman even when she won't admit to it. Every human being has weak points.

Every male-female pair has a relationship never quite the same as any other pair. There are shades of differences in all. There are many different kinds of friendships too among friends. None of your friendships are exactly alike, even with those of the same sex. Every male-female bond has its variations. So to look at Bud and Bai, telling them you should do this and that, is to look at your own male-fenale bonding relationships and other peoples, other couples, and then try to make rules and then apply these universally, and then apply to Bud and Bai - this is wrong. Wrong as in erroneous and incorrect. One shoe does not fit all feet.

I feel only they can sort it out. I feel that Bud felt very threatened by Bai, and lived in a relationship where they is no equal give and take. Not to his liking. He might be right, he might be wrong. He might have been too strong a personality without knowing it and Bai crumbled then resisted. He wants her to work, and she wants to homeschool the kids so refused to go work. Whose attitude is right? We cannot judge, and even they would find it hard to judge regarding who is responsible for the breakup. One's too sensitive, one's too unfeeling, we can speculate on and on. Only they and God knows.

It just looked awful in public to have the police descend on Bai and dragging the kids away. Sure makes Bud the villain doesn't it? But who can judge? Was his way the best for the kids? Remember this: a guy usually cannot control his feelings too well, and then cannot analyse them, and then cannot defend himself. He can't see the big picture and reason when the whole episode is an affair of the heart. He also might be doing the stupidest things and think he is right.

The woman can think on her feet and argue well and usually has the upper hand for her ability to vocalise how she feels and to pour out reasonable excuses for her plight and explain her stand. How do I know? I am a woman. I sometimes feel sorry for my husband who looks at life simply and takes things simply, but boy! Am I complex!

See, George? As a man, you find the issue is simple. Bud is wrong. Any guy who walks out on his wife is all screwed up. You would never do this to anyone you love. Disgusting. I as a woman am suspicious of Bai. Is she making a lot of mileage out of this the way I am quite capable of doing? I am complex, and I think quick and I analyse. I normally run rings round my husband when we argue. He has to walk out to get away because he is overwhelmed. Frightening creature a woman is, eh? Not all women are like that. I am a graduate and so is Bai. Maybe we are more prone to this thing.

Maybe God is using them and Bai to highlight this awful no-fault divorce law. I long for the day they will both get rid of their lawyers and contact each other and try to get together again. If they do, they can improve, but basically not change. And hopefully, with this awareness of how they are affecting the other person, they will compromise, like all married couples and live in love and peace again.

And they will become an example to the rest of the world as to how to fight and get together again. This is more real and useful to society that to have two lovebirds living happily ever after, like in a fairy story, driving off in their horse-drawn carriage into a fading sunset. So unreal.

I hope this will answer your question, George! Let's all go pray some more!

Yva

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