Posted on 10/10/2001 8:16:33 AM PDT by mykdsmom
This has been a rather sore subject between my husband and I. I have been nagging him to have a will drawn up for years and he has never looked into it. Well I've reached the conclusion that he is extremely uncomfortable even talking about the subject so have decided that if it's to be done I will have to be the one to do it.
He isn't willing to invest big bucks to a lawyer to do this but has agreeed to FINALLY making out a will so our kids would get our estate and not the state of NC.
My question is...Where do I start?. There are a lot of do it yourself Will kits out there but are they even legal and binding.
I know there are some lawyers on FR as well as others that have gone through or are going through this too. What do you think? What is the best way to approach this?
We are both traveling apart from each other next week and would also like to have something in writing before these trips. Also because of the iffy safety situation in the country right now I'm feeling a sense of urgency to do this now.
Thanks for any help you can offer.
MKM
We used the interview mode in Quicken Family Lawyer to draw up a draft will. Then we went to a local attorney to tweak it. To be honest, all he did was add places for initials on each page, and arranged for disinterested parties to sign as witnesses. Cost us about $125.
However, if you've got a simple estate, and you're absolutely positive that nobody in your family would contest your wills if you died, then buy Quicken's WillMaker, or any other reputable company's will making software.
This is what I've done. I figure a lawyer-prepared will is a necessity only if there's a contest after the fact, or if you've got a few million bux the state would like to have. For the rest of us, there's software.
Just my non-lawyer opinion, FWIW.
Each state has its own laws in this area, though many states will be substantially similar. In my own state, holographic (handwritten) wills are legal (but not necessarily advisable in any case). You should check the law for NC -- or better yet, check with an attorney there. As someone else said, it is definitely worth the cost for the peace of mind.
One other thing -- you really needn't worry about the state getting everything if you die intestate (without a will). That only occurs when no relatives can be found. What you might worry about is exactly how your estate would be distributed under the laws of NC. For instance, if you have any kind of messy step-kid / divorce history (doesn't sound like you do), then the distribution (who gets what and what percentage) may not be what you would have wanted.
Now, grab your yellow pages and start dialing for attorneys. Questions to ask: Do you do wills? How much do you charge for a simple will? How many have you done? I would also ask: Do you have any experience doing intervivos trusts?
Good luck and God bless you and yours.
I know many people who have drafted wills to deal with all their finances and forgotten to express their wishes involving the raising of their children. This is extremely important if you think that different family members might contest each other over this. Unfortunately this happens quite often.
And you are absolutely correct to get on with this.
Getting a will, even setting up a trust, is not all that expensive!
Another thing...you don't say how old your children are, but if they are minors, it's imperative to establish guardianship for them, too, just in case something should happen to both you and your husband.
Good luck! And don't give up.
If you use inhuman, impersonal software to make plans about the rest of your life, you will also get a slipshod will. You should see an attorney. If cost is a problem, tell him that, but realize you will get what you pay for. If you have a house, life insurance, 401(k) and kids, you may need a trust depending on how worried you are about estate taxes being around upon death. Who knows what Congress will do? A will makes things much simpler when probate time comes. Also, it makes it clear that all of your husbands things will pass to you, and not as set forth by the legislature. And we've all seen how stupid North Carolina's legislature can be lately.
You may also want to meet with a financial planner who will help you prepare for your children's education, life insurance needs and retirement, and in those discussions, the need for a will should become evident. This could be a backdoor way to convince him of the need for the will.
And, you can rewire your house without an electrician, replace your headgasket without a mechanic and set a broken bone without a doctor, but I wouldn't advise it.
MKM
I have 2 sons ages 4 and 6 with my current and "last" husband ; ) (I learned from my mistakes and DID NOT repeat them).
We are going to ask my brother and SIL if they will be willing to be guardians. If they say no then I'm in a bit of trouble because basically I feel my parents are too old and have done their duty and my sister is too young and immature. My husbands family are all divorced and totally dysfunctional. I'm fairly confident my brother will agree though.
MKM
However, I feel I want to get something in place before I leave to fly to FL and go on a cruise next week and hubby drives to NY with my boys to visit grandma.
MKM
BUT! I have to agree. From my perspective on this issue, I believe it is a huge mistake to use pre-printed forms or some generic software to prepare a will.
If you take a will like that to your attorney ask them if they will do that first.
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