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Clinton Library Opens!
GetOdd ^ | 11/18/01

Posted on 10/18/2001 2:27:37 PM PDT by SAMWolf

With great fanfare, the William Jefferson Clinton Presidential Library opened its doors to the public today and reveals an unusual perspective into the life of the former president.

Covering almost three city blocks, the Clinton Library is the largest structure in Hope Arkansas, hometown of Bill Clinton.

With more than 5,000 parking spaces already sold, the library parking lot is still only 50% complete. Even so, visitors not coughing up the $1200 for a "gold" position in the lot have a long walk from their cars.

The Clinton Color Guard

Once inside, there is ample opportunity for visitors to donate to the library.

The Democratic Machine Shop, the predominant fixture in the main lobby, makes it clear that donors will not be forgotten. This "pay for play" policy, while coming under media scrutiny lately, has had enormous success for the Democrats.

Hotel Hallway Art Collection

Banquet Silver Collection

Clintons silk pajamas

White House hinge collection

Vince Foster Memorial

Among the many attractions on display are the:

Clinton Linen Collection. Towels, blankets and other memorabilia taken from hotels the president had stayed in during his numerous international trips while in office. This is the largest such collection in the world and includes items from over 5,000 hotels in over 342 countries.

Scale reproduction of the White House. Made completely with the W keycaps from computer keyboards, this model is awe inspiring.

Clinton Panty Wall . The entire west wall of the library is covered with the panties of notable intimate friends of Bill, overtaking Nelda Marcos' shoe collection as the "9th wonder of the world" according to the Guinness Book of Records. Of special note here is the "Come Hither Collection" featuring some of the former presidents DNA on the panty material.

The most unusual item on display was the Certificate of Exemption from the rule of law, signed by the US Senate and the Association of American News Media.

For years the existence of this exemption has been denied, but thanks to a generous benefactor of the library who insisted on its display, it is now presented for the world to view.

Sadly, the teflon dress that Hillary Clinton wore during her NY Senate campaign has been removed from display. Hillary claims "I feel so comfortable wearing it". Apparently, during the month the dress was on display, the stains started to stick on Mrs Clinton.

In short, visiting the Clinton Presidential Library can be an eye opening experience (hallucinogenic if you happen to inhale). Just make sure to bring plenty of cash with you. --staff


TOPICS: Announcements; Political Humor/Cartoons
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Visitors crowd the lobby seeking pardons, exemptions, waivers, and all kinds of special treatment provided to those who donate. Some waited over three hours in line to just get inside the Democratic Machine Shop door!

1 posted on 10/18/2001 2:27:37 PM PDT by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf
LOL....can't wait for it to open...NOT!
2 posted on 10/18/2001 2:31:48 PM PDT by mystery-ak
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To: SAMWolf
BRAWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! What a great thread!!!!!!!Beautiful I love it!


3 posted on 10/18/2001 2:33:00 PM PDT by KLT
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To: SAMWolf
There should be photos of all the women he abused and/or raped. For victory & freedom!!!
4 posted on 10/18/2001 2:34:13 PM PDT by Saundra Duffy
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To: SAMWolf
Doug From Upland: Please pipe in. For victory & freedom!!!
5 posted on 10/18/2001 2:35:25 PM PDT by Saundra Duffy
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To: SAMWolf
Thanks for the laugh SAM. Classic . . . .Top
6 posted on 10/18/2001 2:38:46 PM PDT by TheTopRead
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Comment #7 Removed by Moderator

To: SAMWolf
Good job! Agree with Sandra about including his "conquests/rapes/sinks" and I'll stop there. Way funny, thank you, JL
8 posted on 10/18/2001 2:39:57 PM PDT by lodwick
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To: SAMWolf
Most excellent.
9 posted on 10/18/2001 2:46:37 PM PDT by caddie
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To: SAMWolf
Fantastic! You can bet my family will be planning a trip to Arkansas at the earliest possible opportunity. We're especially interested in seeing the presidential waste bin, where Mr. Clinton deposited torn-up scraps of the U.S. Constitution:

10 posted on 10/18/2001 2:48:56 PM PDT by mountaineer
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To: jamesbond
The William J. Clinton Presidential Center will be located within a new 27-acre city park along the south bank of the Arkansas River in Little Rock.

The park will replace an industrial site of old warehouses and vacant space and will provide access to a revitalized riverfront as well as a connection to downtown.

The Clinton Presidential Center will include the Presidential Library and Archives, the renovation of the abandoned Rock Island Railroad Bridge as a pedestrian crossing and adaptive reuse of historic Choctaw Station, built in 1899.

The Library Architect is Polshek Partnership LLP and the exhibition designer is being done by Ralph Applebaum Associates.

11 posted on 10/18/2001 2:49:42 PM PDT by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf
Fellow Freepers you can help the Clinton Liebrary NUMEROUS issues of important Clinton documents are missing or damaged. Isssues 135, 137-154 of Playboy and issues 69-79 of Penthouse are badly needed to fill a yawning Gap created during the Monicagate turmoil. Most issues are oddly stuck together and can not be presented to the public.
12 posted on 10/18/2001 2:50:09 PM PDT by TAP ONLINE
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To: TAP ONLINE
There is also a rumor that all the urinals in the mens room will be replicas of the Oval Office Sink.
13 posted on 10/18/2001 2:52:03 PM PDT by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf


The library is located right across from Lover's Lane, for all your erotic needs.
14 posted on 10/18/2001 2:56:40 PM PDT by BaBaStooey
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To: SAMWolf
May be just a rumour--but I heard the Clinton library burnt down--and burnt BOTH of his books!.... One wasnt even colored in yet.
15 posted on 10/18/2001 2:57:20 PM PDT by RBurke
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To: Saundra Duffy
Great post. In what room will we find the blue thong?
16 posted on 10/18/2001 2:57:51 PM PDT by doug from upland
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To: BaBaStooey
The library is located right across from Lover's Lane, for all your erotic needs.

Perfect location for the Clintoooon Liebrary!

17 posted on 10/18/2001 3:01:43 PM PDT by KLT
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To: SAMWolf
What a great post! ROTFLOL!
18 posted on 10/18/2001 3:01:47 PM PDT by Notforprophet
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To: SAMWolf

19 posted on 10/18/2001 3:04:20 PM PDT by KLT
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To: TAP ONLINE
Fellow Freepers you can help the Clinton Liebrary NUMEROUS issues of important Clinton documents are missing or damaged. Isssues 135, 137-154 of Playboy and issues 69-79 of Penthouse are badly needed to fill a yawning Gap created during the Monicagate turmoil. Most issues are oddly stuck together and can not be presented to the public.


20 posted on 10/18/2001 3:09:00 PM PDT by KLT
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