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TALIBAN SEEKING ANTI-AIR FORCE GUNNERS
Self | 10/31/01 | SELF

Posted on 10/31/2001 8:28:50 AM PST by appeal2

Recent help wanted ad in the Kabul Daily News

ANTI-AIRCRAFT GUNNERS WANTED

Are you bored by your current job? Are you looking for an exciting opportunity? The Taliban Central Command is seeking motivated men (women need not apply) to man our remaining anti-aircraft batteries and help fight the Great Satan--America. There's plenty of room for advancement, management vacancies occur almost daily.

By joining the Taliban, you become part of an organization steeped in history. We've been fighting the infidels for over 1000 years and we won't stop till the Jihad is over.

We offer a complete benefit package--you'll be on the fast-track martyr program. That means when you wind up in heaven you will get 72 wide eyed willing virgins and large parcels of prime heavenly real estate.

No experience is necessary, just a will to serve Allah. Kevlar under pants and shirts are helpful but not required. Our compensation program is very competitve. You'll earn more than twice as much as the Ghoat Herder next door and will follow an accelerated career path that will have you serving Allah in no time flat.

So what are you waiting for--heaven can't wait and neither can you. Call 1-800-ALLAH-1 and start serving today. There are a limited number of positions so call now. Don't miss this once in a lifetime Jihadic opportunity!!! Operators are standing by.


TOPICS: Announcements; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
Any takers?
1 posted on 10/31/2001 8:28:50 AM PST by appeal2
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To: appeal2
This thing is loaded with red flags that they're going to want you coming in early, staying late and showing up on weekends.

Two thumbs (on severed hands) down on this one.

2 posted on 10/31/2001 8:40:10 AM PST by DWSUWF
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To: appeal2
Any bonuses for prior service? I mean, this help desk job is really getting me down....
3 posted on 10/31/2001 8:50:13 AM PST by Tennessee_Bob
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To: appeal2
Body-bag not included.
4 posted on 10/31/2001 8:55:05 AM PST by Grim
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To: appeal2
Well, Jane Fonda doesn't seem to be doing anything else at the moment....
5 posted on 10/31/2001 8:56:36 AM PST by steve-b
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To: appeal2
Is this just ANOTHER come-on for one of those damned employment agencies? You know, the one's that take 87% of your first year's income?
6 posted on 10/31/2001 9:00:08 AM PST by donozark
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To: appeal2
I have bad news for you: Most Afghans can't afford a phone, so they will be unable to respond to your generous offer. There are under 30,000 phone lines in the entire country of 25 million.

Monaco, a tiny country with a population of 35,000, has more phones.

You did a nice job on the ad, and it gave me a chuckle this morning, but I fear that it won't pass muster in the real world.

D

7 posted on 10/31/2001 9:01:13 AM PST by daviddennis
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To: appeal2
Short-term work; average employees get the ultimate promotion in 36 hours or less.
8 posted on 10/31/2001 9:01:32 AM PST by MoralSense
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To: appeal2
You missed the smaller ad on the next page. "WANTED, BOMBCATCHERS!! HIGH PAY, SHORT HOURS!!!(must have very, very good eyesite and strong upperbody)
9 posted on 10/31/2001 10:08:48 AM PST by Leisler
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