What we are fighting for – The Press Briefing

The air was buzzing in the Pentagon briefing room that afternoon as reporters from all facets of the media began to assemble for yet another press briefing by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and the head of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Richard Meyers.

Beyond and flanking the speakers podium stood 5 easels with display boards mounted on them. The boards were draped in black linen, and all the reporters could figure out was that they were the latest pictures from the war in Afghanistan. More aerial stills of smart bombs meeting their targets. Before and afters of Taliban enclaves that were rutted by the incessant bombing of the last few weeks. Many reporters even wondered if there were going to be any further reports of "collateral damage" - civilians caught in the crossfire of America's War on Terrorism.

Curtains on the right of the stage began rustling, signaling the approach of Msrs. Rumsfeld and Meyers. Reporters scurried to find their seats as the two cabinet members approached the podium.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," Secretary Rumsfeld began. "Let me start off today's briefing by letting you all know why it is we are fighting this war, because it seems to me that many of you may have lost sight of this point." Rumsfeld smiled sardonically as he continued, "Besides, it's always good to see where we've been to realize where we need to go." He gestured to the cloth draped easels. "I would like to exemplify this by showing you some pictures of war damage that occurred early in this campaign."

Nodding to Richard Meyers, Meyers walked over to the easel on the far right and slipped the drape off the display board. A low murmur erupted as the press corps viewed the first picture. It was a split picture - one half showing the first jetliner smashing into the north tower of the World Trade Center, the other showing the second plane hitting the south tower. Meyers walked to the second easel and lifted the drape. This time, distance shots of both towers engulfed in smoke. The third picture another split of frightened workers hanging from broken windows, desperately seeking clean air and a safe way out. The other side of the split showed people plunging hundreds of feet to their deaths. Again, audible sounds of shock came from the audience.

The fourth picture revealed several shots of a damaged wing of the Pentagon, on fire and smoke billowing. The final picture was of an ad hoc memorial surounded by weeping mourners in an isolated field in western Pennsylvania, where Flight 93 went down, apparently due to it’s courageous passengers’ final attempt at thwarting yet another team of terrorists.

One reporter, apparently anguished from these displays, stood up and spoke; “Secretary Rumsfeld, this is shocking and sensational. We’ve all seen these pictures and, quite frankly, would rather move on to the current issues at hand. These pictures do nothing but evoke emotion. This is a cheap shot, sir.”

Smiling, Secretary Rumsfeld replied, “Not as cheap as some of the shots you people have been taking at us lately.” “Listen”, he continued, “Every day, you people in the press try to evoke emotion from the American people by constantly showing propaganda lies of so-called civilian damage on the part of our armed forces in Afghanistan. You would believe the Taliban before you would believe us. Quite frankly, sir, I find that reprehensible.” “Whose side are you on anyway? “ He continued, “By reporting the way that you have been, you are doing nothing but undermining the confidence of the people of the United States in their armed forces and as such you are undermining the morale of this country, attempting to create division among our people, and undermining the war effort as a whole.”

“So I am reminding you of what we are fighting for. We are fighting for the very right for people like you to report as freely as you do. And I will defend that right. Because under the Taliban regime, you wouldn’t have that right.” Sighing, he concluded, “All I am asking is that you work with us on this one, hmmm?” Then staring at each of them, he finished, “Aren’t you all Americans?”

(This event never occurred, it is simply a dramatization – and wishful thinking on the authors part)

Hopefully I posted this in the correct category. It was an idea that was rattling around in my head for a couple of days.
I would like to see a news conference like this one.
I am at work now and am only able to check back periodically in the next couple of hours. Comments or other ideas?

Love it! Someone should send this to Rumsfield. The press in this country need to get a clue. Any ideas on how we can by-pass the press and show the Goverment we are supporting them 100%.

Great post! I would go even further and put up poster-size pictures of charred bodies coming out of the Pentagon, body parts on the street outside the WTC, etc. You know these pictures exist, we just have not seen them because the media are self-censoring them. But they will gleefully run pictures of dead Talibans.

Yeah - actually, I was hoping maybe someone in the Pentagon is a lurker to this site. That would be cool.

Darn I was hoping this was true! It is indeed strange that the American public must be protected from WTC splat shots/videos, which I'm sure exist, while Afghan "victims" are paraded about.

Truely appalling; the media's reporting on the multiple bombing "mistakes" at the Red Cross warehouse in Kabul.

Great fantasy -- I've got one that involves a Presidential address declaring Islam a national security threat...

At today's briefing Don R was a little more delicate than your projection but he pretty well level set the press turkeys with his analysis of the genesis and current prosecution of this conflict. I thought he chewed them pretty well in a way they won't feel until they reach for their back pockets and find nothing there.

You know these pictures exist, we just have not seen them because the media are self-censoring them. But they will gleefully run pictures of dead Talibans.

That's the hypocracy of the whole situation. With each report of "innocent" damage in Afghanistan, they ought to follow up with a report on how some of the families of the deceased victims are holding up. That is part of the damage these terrorists brought upon our country.

I can see that happening. These press buffoons are hopeless.

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