Skip to comments.

Posted on 11/04/2001 4:13:38 PM PST by Recovering_Democrat

The rules of Major League Baseball assert the winner of 4 games in the Fall Classic "World Series" will be claimed the champion. But Democratic National Committee Terry McAuliffe, Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, and noted RINO Sen. John McCain of Arizona have vowed to fight the results if the outcome isn't to their liking.

"The American people have had enough of people playing games with their games," McAuliffe said, as he pointed to a chart showing the composite number of runs scored in the entire World Series up to game 6.

Daschle, reaching high to point to the upper corner of the chart, told the gaggle of leftist journalists, "The Arizona Diamondbacks have scored 34 runs so far, and the [New York] Yankees have only touched home plate twelve. The winner of the Series is clear. To call this World Series a "tie" right now is a travesty of justice. Clearly the winner must be the team that scored the most points."

John McCain, appearing with two metal ball bearings in his left hand, gritted his teeth as he took to the podium. "The special interests in baseball have been making contributions to the owners of these teams in an effort to denigrate the hard work of the ball players. And now it is going to affect, possibly, my hometown team of Arizona. If the big city Yankees slip by the 'D-backs' one to nothing, it'll be another case of the abuse of the little man by the huge corporations."

One lone reporter in the back of the pack attempted to explain to McCain and Company that each game was a victory all alone, not unlike each state in the electoral college. But McAuliffe and Daschle brushed aside the explanation.

"Clearly, the American people understand the winner of the game is the one who scores the most runs. If the Yankees do not win game seven by 23 runs or more, we are prepared to demand a re-count, and, if need be, manually go through the scorecards to determine the true victor. Hopefully, it won't come to that, but we must defend the sacred game of baseball," Daschle said. The Yankees currently have been outscored by 22 runs, and a 23-run win in game seven would ensure not only four games in their column, but also a margin of victor in total runs scored.

Preliminary papers have already been prepared for an appeal of the game by David Bonior, counsel to the DNC.

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.