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Posted on 11/26/2001 1:03:51 PM PST by VRWCmember

With apologies to David Letterman -- who are we kidding -- no apologies to Letterman. Does he own the concept of a Top Ten List? Who cares if he thinks we owe him an apology or not. This list was not written by Letterman, or George Carlin, or Ted Nugent. It's just a humorous list designed to give us a brief, and needed, humor break this afternoon. So there!

Top 10 Fatal Things to Say to a Pregnant Wife

10. I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!
9. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson Lee had a baby!
8. Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
7. Get your *own* ice cream, Buddha!
6. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
5. I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!
4. Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
3. Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
2. Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.

and The Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

1. You don't have the guts to pull the trigger, Lard@$$.

But honey, my pickup is only rated for a half ton load!

I can't fit something the size of a Volkswagen into the cab of my truck!

Thar she blows!

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