Police Report of the Year
The Richland Police report finding a man's body in the Columbia River, near the confluence of the Yakima River, at Columbia Park.
The dead man's name will not be released until his family has been notified.
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive marijuana consumption. He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, and a Hillary for President' T-shirt. He also had a cucumber in his rectum.
The police removed the Hillary T-shirt to spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
In spite of what we sometimes think, the police do care.