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They were coming from the plane’s loudspeaker. Flight attendants assured passengers it was a technical mixup. It was presumed that once the flight got underway, the noises would cease. Instead, they continued for hours: weird guttural moans and grunts projected over the intercom, apparently coming from nowhere. In an interview with Gizmodo, Collins characterized the noises as a cross between “explosive diarrhea, vomiting, and a weird, vaguely sexual moan.” Having listened to the noises, this writer would add “bad impression of Boris Karloff as Frankenstein’s monster” to that list. In general, the noises are weird, uncomfortable, and resistant to easy...

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells. Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen...

1.Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over. 2.I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. 3.I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. 4.My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away. 5.I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed. 6.My boss told me to have a good day.. so...

PGA RULE CHANGES IN EFFECT 1/1/2019 FOR GOLFERS AGE 65+ Rule 9.k.34(a) - If a tree is between the ball and the hole, and the tree is deemed to be younger than the player, then the ball can be moved without penalty. This is so because this is simply a question of timing; when the player was younger, the tree was not there so the player is being penalized because of his age. Rule 1.a.5 - A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it...