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Keyword: headlines

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • LeeAnn Rimes headlines Air Force holiday radio special

    10/10/2007 5:58:45 PM PDT · by SandRat · 16 replies · 408+ views
    Air Force Link ^ | Daniel P. Elkins
    10/9/2007 - RANDOLPH AIR FORCE BASE, Texas (AFPN) -- Multiple Grammy-award winner LeAnn Rimes recalls her fondest holiday memories as the featured artist in the "Red, White and Air Force Blue Christmas" radio special to be released in November. Produced and marketed by the Air Force Recruiting Service's strategic cmmunications division, the one-hour show features an in-depth interview with Ms. Rimes along with songs from her holiday album and new release, "Family." In its 13th year, the program is sent to more than 3,300 country radio stations throughout the nation in late November and broadcast worldwide over American Forces Radio...
  • When NOT To Hyphenate Your Name (Mature Content)

    08/02/2007 5:38:24 PM PDT · by Daffynition · 23 replies · 1,067+ views
    cbs13.com ^ | 07. | unknown
    Many married women choose to hyphenate their married name and maiden name. But there are times when you just shouldn't!! [see link slideshow]
  • Playboy airwoman relieved of duty

    01/13/2007 12:27:16 AM PST · by csvset · 189 replies · 10,831+ views
    BBC ^ | 13 January 2007 | BBC
    A US Air Force sergeant who appears nude in the latest edition of Playboy magazine has been stood down from duties as an investigation begins. Michelle Manhart, 30, is pictured in a range of poses, some while wearing uniform and striking a military pose, others while stripped naked. The air force said in a statement her actions "does not meet the high standards we expect of our airmen". Ms Manhart said she did not expect to be disciplined and defended the photos. Ms Manhart, who is married with two children, appears in the February issue of Playboy's US edition....
  • Greeley's al-Qaeda connections make headlines around the world

    08/19/2006 5:49:01 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 27 replies · 1,883+ views
    Greeley Tribune ^ | 8/19/06 | Mike Peters
    Many people believe you couldn't have found a more conservative, religious and docile town in America than Greeley in 1949. There were many churches, and no bars or liquor stores allowed in town. But a six-month stay here in Greeley by an Egyptian student in 1949 made him so angry that he wrote books to express his anti-American diatribe. His name was Sayyid Qutb (SIGH-yid KUH tahb) and he became one of the founders of Islamic terrorism. Television specials, literary magazines, stories in major newspapers, thousands of blogs and now a new book have noted Greeley's influence on the man...
  • Giuliani Headlines Ralph Reed Fundraiser

    05/18/2006 7:05:24 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 5 replies · 369+ views
    AP on Yahoo ^ | 5/18/06 | Greg Bluestein - ap
    ATLANTA - Rudolph Giuliani, the former New York mayor considered a potential 2008 candidate for president, headlined a fundraiser Thursday for former Christian Coalition leader Ralph Reed in his run for Georgia lieutenant governor. The two politicians were effusive in their praise for one another as they entered the Atlanta fundraiser just before noon. "I just want to say I believe Rudy Giuliani is one of the finest leaders in not only the Republican Party but in either party," Reed said. Giuliani responded: "We're here to get you elected. It would be a great thing for Georgia." Reed's campaign was...
  • Schwarzenegger, GOP Raise $2.5M at Fundraiser - McCain headlines closed-door dinner

    03/20/2006 8:42:28 PM PST · by NormsRevenge · 17 replies · 392+ views
    AP on Yahoo ^ | 3/2/06 | Michael R. Blood - ap
    BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and the state GOP collected an estimated $2.5 million Monday at a fundraiser headlined by Sen. John McCain (news, bio, voting record), as scores of union members protested outside the event calling for the governor's ouster in November. For Schwarzenegger, the closed-door dinner begins to replenish a political fund drained last year by his costly and losing campaign to enact ballot proposals to slow state spending and curb public union power in Sacramento. Top donors kicked in as much as $100,000 to attend the dinner and reception. But the event was reminiscent of...
  • Worst Newspaper Error. Ever.

    01/16/2006 8:14:26 PM PST · by Bubba_Leroy · 38 replies · 1,306+ views
    Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito told senators Monday that good judges don't have an agenda, don't look for partisan outcomes and always "do what the law requires" as the Senate opened hearings on President Bush's choice for the high court. "A judge can't have any agenda. A judge can't have a preferred outcome in any particular case," Alito told the Judiciary Committee in a brief statement in which he made a distinction between judges and attorneys working for clients. His motive for shooting John Paul in the abdomen on May 13, 1981, remains unclear.
  • Israeli burglars stay home to follow Sharon news

    01/10/2006 10:23:37 AM PST · by Willie Green · 2 replies · 179+ views
    The Times ^ | January 10, 2006 | Philippe Naughton and agencies
    Burglaries, car thefts and other crimes have more than halved since Israelis began gluing themselves to television sets for news on the health of Ariel Sharon, their ailing Prime Minister. Doctors treating Mr Sharon said today that they had detected a slight improvement in his brain function as they try to rouse him gradually from a medically-induced coma. Dr Shlomo Mor-Yosef, director of the Hadassah hospital in Jerusalem, said that Mr Sharon had moved his left hand for the first time and had managed to move his right arm and leg more than in an initial stimulus test on Monday....
  • Top 10 New York Times Headlines in 2006

    01/09/2006 5:52:42 PM PST · by rice08 · 2 replies · 418+ views
    The People's Cybe ^ | 1/9/05 | Comrade Red Square
    The Good Party members at The People's Cube (they that are of Communist for Kerry fame) amused me today. be sure to follow the link to generate your own Top 10 New York Times Headlines in 2006 Robust economy, high employment detrimental to the environment Baghdad dilemma: not enough abortion clinics Rebuilding of roads in Afghanistan leads to more traffic accidents US-made purple ink causes rash, fever: thousands of Iraqi voters hospitalized Freedom in Iraq linked to larger hole in ozone layer Iraqi parents: US-built schools cause child obesity Open political debate in Iraq triggers nation-wide laryngitis epidemic. Who will...
  • Dead Headlines

    12/26/2005 1:55:27 PM PST · by lawdude · 25 replies · 625+ views
    12/26/2005 | Self
    I was just listening to a radio talk show promo and the background was a clip from a story which, when it broke, was "HORRIFIC"! It was the 'laser aimed at the pilot' story. That story, while considered "HORRIFIC" at the time was only in the limelight for a day or so. How many headline news stories only lasted a day. Can you FReepers add others?
  • How the Bush administration got spooked

    11/21/2005 9:31:02 AM PST · by kralcmot · 36 replies · 1,532+ views
    online Asia Times ^ | Nov 22,2005 | Tom Englund
    DISPATCHES FROM AMERICA ((You're not in Kansas anymore)) How the Bush administration got spooked By Tom Engelhardt It's finally Wizard of Oz time in America. You know - that moment when the curtains are pulled back, the fearsome-looking wizard wreathed in all that billowing smoke turns out to be some pitiful little guy, and everybody looks around sheepishly, wondering why they acted as they did for so long. Starting on September 11, 2001 - with a monstrous helping hand from Osama bin Laden - the Bush administration played the fear card with unbelievable effectiveness. For years, with its companion "war...
  • Madonna happy out of saddle back on stage

    11/04/2005 5:39:31 AM PST · by Pharmboy · 37 replies · 1,071+ views
    Reuters ^ | Nov 3, 2005 | Hanna Rantala and Ian Simpson
    Pop queen Madonna is ecstatic to be back on stage, especially so soon after a horse riding accident which she said had threatened her performing career. Speaking to Reuters after the first live televised performance of her new single "Hung Up," the 47-year-old American appeared to have lost little of her desire to please the crowd. "After I fell off my horse it was amazing to be able to get up and dance," she said backstage on Thursday at the MTV Europe Music Awards, where she kicked off the Lisbon show with an energetic display in purple boots and matching...
  • Healines for the Year 2029

    10/17/2005 9:23:41 PM PDT · by oceanperch · 7 replies · 369+ views
    e mail | unknown | unknown
    thanks to carla!:   Headlines from the year 2029!   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Baby conceived naturally - -   scientists stumped. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Castro finally dies at age...
  • Were these immigration stories biased? (Minutemen)

    07/20/2005 12:36:54 AM PDT · by Cincinatus' Wife · 7 replies · 503+ views
    Houston Chronicle ^ | July 20, 2005 | James Campbell - About:Chron Blog
    Immigration is a line-in-the-sand story topic that tends to raise the emotions of Americans on either side of the issue, particularly in light of 9/11. Consequently, it's imperative that any story on the subject be reported accurately and with balance, lest the readers' representative get calls and e-mails charging bias. On that note, I've already heard from readers regarding the stories about the Minuteman Civil Defense Corps and their plans to send observers to Houston in October to patrol for illegal immigrants. Two specific complaints stand out: The use of the word "militia" in a subhead on a story published...
  • OUTRAGED AMNESTY INTL EXECS CLAIM FEEDING SADDAM DORITOS SAME AS CAPITAL PUNISHMENT (HUMOR!!!!)

    06/21/2005 10:59:57 AM PDT · by clintonbaiter · 27 replies · 1,043+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | Marni Malarkey
    LONDON -- Amnesty International has released its most searing attack on the United States yet, with its newest report, "Treatment of Saddam Hussein in Prison: Slow Death by Junk Food." Amnesty's Secretary General, Irene Khan, issued the report this morning, calling reports that Saddam Hussein is being given Doritos and Cheetos in prison "more proof of U.S. torture, cruelty, and inhumane and barbaric treatment of detainees throughout the world." Khan cited the feeding of junk food to Saddam as "a desire on the part of the United States to get him addicted to high-fat and high-calorie food, in order to...
  • Aviation News (Blog)

    05/20/2005 3:43:30 PM PDT · by beerguzzler · 20 replies · 691+ views
    http://aogdesk.org/v-web/b2/ ^ | 5/20/05 | BeerGuzzler
    What do you think about aviation news? Post your own news or comment on existing posts.
  • REALMARTHA.COM

    03/17/2005 4:39:04 PM PST · by Tumbleweed_Connection · 2 replies · 153+ views
    REALMARTHA ^ | 3/6/05 | Shawn Auer
    The reason for adopting the website realmartha.com is to focus on the fact that celebrity turned felons are making a mockery out of our United States criminal justice system. Celebrities feel that they are above the law, and are often treated with “kid gloves” when it comes to sentencing and probationary handlings. The typical US citizen lives with the belief justice and fairness under the law apply to ALL. One does not control the judicial system with money and status, the judicial system makes and enforces the law! Mistakes are acknowledged and experience is gained. Crimes are tried and punished....
  • Virus hooks onto CNN headlines

    01/20/2005 8:48:23 PM PST · by holymoly · 26 replies · 815+ views
    C|Net News ^ | January 20, 2005 | Robert Lemos
    A PC virus has started to spread through e-mail, luring potential victims by disguising itself as a headline newsletter from CNN, an antivirus company said Thursday. E-mails laden with the virus, dubbed "Crowt.A" by Sophos, do not have a typical subject line and other characteristics, Sophos said. Instead, the virus sends out e-mail messages with subject lines, message content and attachment names drawn from the latest news headlines on CNN's Web site, which it gathers as it spreads. Very few Sophos customers have reported that they been affected by Crowt.A so far, the company said. "Virus writers are always looking...
  • President George W. Bush: Behind the Headlines (Fox News Channel, Sunday, 1/16/05, 9pm EST)

    01/14/2005 3:31:09 PM PST · by Libloather · 9 replies · 1,219+ views
    Fox News ^ | 1/14/05
    George W. Bush: Behind the Headlines 9:00pm Rare photos, unseen video and exclusive interviews with the president's inner circle! Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, Andy Card, and Joe Allbaugh take you inside the Oval Office during crisis and war, and paint an intimate portrait of G.W.B. (cc)
  • A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....12/30,31/04-01/01,02/05....Happy New Year 2005!

    12/30/2004 2:12:35 AM PST · by dansangel · 357 replies · 3,608+ views
    dansangel | dansangel
                                    Each year, we look forward to the New Year with expectations of good fortune, good health and a renewed faith in God. It is also a time to reflect on all of the events of the year that is about to pass. Here are just a few of the highlights, good and bad, of the year 2004, courtesy of NewsMax (*with the exception of the Boston Red Sox article which is courtesy of http://www.boston.com/sports). Just click on any of the links to review the news article.      January 2004: All 148 Aboard Killed in Egypt Jet Crash...
  • Hand pulls groin

    11/29/2004 10:51:08 AM PST · by Randjuke · 99 replies · 3,007+ views
    Yahoo Sports ^ | Monday, November 29, 2004 | fanball staff
    News Giants defensive tackle Norman Hand strained his groin in the third quarter of Sunday's game against the Eagles and did not return to the game. "I didn't know big guys had groins," he told Newsday. "I'm finding out today that I actually have one." Hand hopes his sore groin won't keep him from playing the 'Skins next Sunday. Views We'll check back with Hand throughout the practice week to see if he'll be ready for the Redskins' game.
  • Head turning Headlines! (funny)

    11/24/2004 12:26:17 AM PST · by Bobalu · 5 replies · 651+ views
    e-mail | unknown | unknown
    Head turning Headlines! Grandmother of eight makes hole in one Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing House passes gas tax onto senate Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan Two convicts evade noose, jury hung William Kelly was fed secretary Milk drinkers are turning to powder Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted Quarter of a million Chinese live on water Farmer bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Queen Mary having bottom scraped Is there a ring of debris around Uranus? Prostitutes appeal to Pope Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over NJ judge to...
  • Bush makes not-so-good headlines in Europe (European lefties go boohooohooo)

    11/06/2004 8:37:48 AM PST · by knighthawk · 27 replies · 768+ views
    Tehran Times ^ | November 06 2004 | Associated Press
    LONDON (AP) - The re-election of President Bush dominated British newspapers Thursday, and many cast impartiality aside in reporting the result. "How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?" the liberal Daily Mirror asked in a Page One headline. Inside, several pages of coverage were headed "U.S. election disaster." The Independent bore the front-page headline "Four more years" on a black page with grim pictures including a hooded Iraqi prisoner and an orange-clad detainee at Guantanamo Bay. The left-leaning Guardian led its features section with a black page bearing the tiny words, "Oh, God." Inside a story described how Bush's victory...
  • Headlines We'd Like To See

    11/03/2004 8:08:37 AM PST · by PsyOp · 5 replies · 179+ views
    November 3, 2004 | PsyOp
    Headlines We'd like to see on Nov. 3, 2004. 1. U.S. to Osama--CAN YOU HEAR US NOW! 2. Clinton Advises Kerry: "Better Put Some Ice On That..." 3. Big Dig Buried By Bush Landslide. 4. U.S. to Osama--Pound Sand! 5. Kerry Loses Medals--Throws Election Instead. 6. Kerry Torpedoed! 7. Rats Leaves Sinking Swift Boat. 8. Word of The Day: Landslide 9. Osama Sees Shadow: Four More Years of War On Terror. 10. Kerry Gets B**ch Slapped by Bush. 11. Kerry: I Voted For Myself Before I Voted For Bush... 12. Kerry Loses--Edwards Sues Kerry. 13. Boxer Wins! Remains Irrellevant.
  • Allegation of assault on woman in 1970s shadows Wu (Oregon, 'Rat Rapist Congressman)

    10/12/2004 9:24:25 AM PDT · by Beelzebubba · 38 replies · 1,437+ views
    The Oregonian (Portland) ^ | 10-12-04 | LAURA GUNDERSON, DAVE HOGAN and JEFF KOSSEFF
    [In 1976]...the 21-year-old Wu was brought to the campus police annex after his ex-girlfriend said he tried to force her to have sex, according to Raoul K. Niemeyer, then a patrol commander who questioned him. Wu had scratches on his face and neck, and his T-shirt was stretched out of shape, Niemeyer said. Earlier, someone had interrupted a scuffle in the woman's dorm room. A Stanford professor said the woman told him the next day that Wu had angrily attacked her. An assistant dean who counseled the woman for two months said that the woman called it attempted rape and...
  • Wu calls what he did in 1976 'inexcusable'

    10/13/2004 9:59:52 AM PDT · by Clintonfatigued · 16 replies · 953+ views
    The Portland Oregonian ^ | October 13, 2004 | Harry Esteve
    Rep. David Wu (D), facing tough reelection, apologizes for "inexcusable" incident.
  • Elizabeth Edwards Headlines Harkin Feast

    09/19/2004 6:32:16 PM PDT · by NormsRevenge · 34 replies · 895+ views
    AP on Yahoo ^ | 9/19/04 | Mike Glover - AP
    Elizabeth Edwards touted a Democratic commitment to bolster rural health care Sunday, arguing that both nominee John Kerry and running mate John Edwards have long ties to rural America that give them credibility. Mrs. Edwards said her husband and Kerry virtually moved to Iowa when they campaigned for Iowa's leadoff caucuses, and have nurtured close ties to the state. "They didn't come to just the big cities like Des Moines and Cedar Rapids, they came to small towns all across this state," said Mrs. Edwards. "They didn't just talk to you _ they listened." She used prominent rural icons to...
  • Michael Moore Accused of Headline Heist

    08/03/2004 11:57:38 AM PDT · by crusty codger · 20 replies · 1,293+ views
    NewsMax | 08/03/04 | unknown
    Michael Moore's fakery fest "Fahrenheit 9/11" features in one of its scenes a newspaper headline that reads: "Latest Florida recount shows Gore won election." The words were apparently designed to perpetuate the myth that Bush "stole" the 2000 presidential election. A lawyer for the Pantagraph newspaper in Bloomington, Ill., sent a letter to Moore accusing him of misappropriating the headline from the Pantagraph's pages. The headline did appear in the Pantagraph, but only on the letters-to-the-editor page, and was intended only to reflect the letter writer's sentiments. According to the Pantagraph's Web site, the lawyer's letter also charges Moore with...
  • CA: Governor headlines rally endorsing $15 billion budget measure

    02/27/2004 7:14:05 PM PST · by NormsRevenge · 10 replies · 152+ views
    SFGate.com ^ | 2/27/04 | Michael R. Blood - AP
    <p>Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger turned to Hollywood friend Rob Lowe Friday to help sell his $15 billion state budget bailout then did a block-long test drive for a bus tour that will anchor a weekend campaign blitz to promote his two ballot initiatives.</p>
  • *Headlines from 2050*

    08/05/2003 4:21:04 PM PDT · by apackof2 · 67 replies · 212+ views
    e-mail | 8/5/03 | Pastor Tim
    California to Be Re-admitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten Crops, Livestock Baltimore Rams Defeat St. Louis Ravens Upcoming NFL Draft Likely to Focus On Mutants Younger Generation's Music Provokes Outrage of Elders D.C. Zoo to Receive Rare Cow Authentic Year 2000 Chad Sells For $6.9 Million at Sotheby's Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGE-DisneyCiscoFordRJR-NabiscoExxon-Mobil of Monopoly Charges 50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss Baby Conceived Naturally Cal Ripken Jr. Reduced to DH Role
  • "Kobe Agonistes...And now, it's all theater."

    07/22/2003 2:09:56 AM PDT · by bd476 · 10 replies · 233+ views
    The National Review Online ^ | July 21, 2003 | Jack Dunphy
    "Oh where, oh where to turn during these languid days of summer. The players in the Robert Blake, Scott Peterson, and Martha Stewart dramas, all the people who held us rapt through the cooler months, have faded from our awareness as they have from the front pages, shuffling as they are through all those seemingly interminable pre-trial delays. The pennant races have yet to heat up, the networks are in reruns, and God only knows when The Sopranos will return. There's scarcely reason even to look for the remote. But suddenly, live, from Eagle, Colorado, it's The Kobe Bryant Show....
  • TODAY'S TOP SATIRICAL HEADLINES

    05/27/2003 8:15:38 AM PDT · by Apolitical · 4 replies · 217+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | May 27, 2003 | William Grim, Marni Soupcoff et al
    U.S. POLITICIANS DEBATE WHICH ANTI-AMERICAN REGIME TO TOPPLE FIRST -- IRAN OR CANADA? (Washington, D.C.) -- U.S. politicians, appearing on TV talk shows on the weekend, seemed in favor of working to destabilize anti-American governments, but quarreled over which corrupt regime needed to go first. Some politicians expressed a belief that Iran was the worst offender and needed to be dealt with strongly by the United States. However, Iranian officials helpfully suggested that Canada would be a far better target for regime change than Iran. As one Iranian official convincingly explained, "Canada's government is as anti-American as they come. They...
  • TODAY'S TOP PARODY HEADLINES

    04/27/2003 8:10:59 AM PDT · by Apolitical · 3 replies · 197+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | April 27, 2004 | Various
    b>AL-QAEDA TELETHON RESULTS "DISAPPOINTING" (Atlanta) -- The annual Al-Qaeda Fundraising Telethon on CNN has produced "disappointing results" according to a press release issued by the network's founder, Ted Turner. According to the press statement, only $26.93 in donations were pledged during the the weekend-long telethon hosted by Jane Fonda. Ted Turner was unavailable for further comments. CNN sources say he is currently in Havana where he is holding a birthday party for Fidel Castro. Unnamed sources at CNN have also told this reporter that network brass are astounded that Americans still hold a grudge against al-Qaeda because of 9/11. Some...
  • LATEST SATIRICAL HEADLINES!

    04/14/2003 9:34:13 AM PDT · by Apolitical · 3 replies · 131+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | April 14, 2003 | William Grim, Marni Malarkey et al.....
    AL-QAEDA TELETHON RESULTS "DISAPPOINTING" (Atlanta) -- The annual Al-Qaeda Fundraising Telethon on CNN has produced "disappointing results" according to a press release issued by the network's founder, Ted Turner. According to the press statement, only $26.93 in donations were pledged during the the weekend-long telethon hosted by Jane Fonda. Ted Turner was unavailable for further comments. CNN sources say he is currently in Havana where he is holding a birthday party for Fidel Castro. Unnamed sources at CNN have also told this reporter that network brass are astounded that Americans still hold a grudge against al-Qaeda because of 9/11. Some...
  • Today's Top Satirical Headlines

    04/08/2003 9:26:47 AM PDT · by Apolitical · 1 replies · 136+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | April 8,2003 | Marni-Rebecca Malarkey, William Grim et al
    PETER ARNETT DEFENDS HIS REMARKS TO SHABBY JOURNALIST Peter Arnett, in his first major interview since his firing from MSNBC last week, told BBC news anchor Kate Pickwick-Trevor-Nitwit-Adderly-Jones that he didn't understand what "all the fuss" was about. "I never said the American military plan in Iraq failed. And I never said the Iraqis were putting up a brave resistance," said Arnett, live from Baghdad during the BBC world news broadcast Friday night. "I never said any such thing. That is just mindless propaganda from my many enemies in the media who are jealous of my success, that's all." Arnett...
  • LATEST SATIRICAL NEWS HEADLINES

    04/06/2003 5:59:06 AM PDT · by Apolitical · 4 replies · 179+ views
    Iconoclast ^ | April 6, 2003 | Marni-Rebecca Malarkey et al
    U.S. SPECIAL FORCES DISCOVER MYSTERIOUS THIRD SON OF SADDAM " BAGHDAD -- After their daring and heroic rescue of Private Jessica Lynch, US Special Forces scored another victory for the Coalition of the Willing yesterday morning. During an early hours raid on what has come to be known as "Saddamland," Saddam Hussein's 300-acre palace/amusement park/torture chamber/petting zoo, US fighters captured one of the Iraqi dictator's sons. At a press conference an hour ago, Pentagon spokeswoman Victoria Clarke revealed that "it was not Uday or Kusay, who are the better known of Saddam's children. It was actually 'Little Joe,' the least...
  • TODAY'S TOP SATIRICAL HEADLINES

    04/01/2003 1:42:37 PM PST · by Apolitical · 5 replies · 183+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | April 1, 2003 | Marni-Rebecca Malarkey et al...
    SADDAM'S DOUBLES FALL IN LOVE BAGHDAD -- Amidst all the horror of war, there was still some scintillating news in Iraq's capital city today. Two of Saddam Hussein's many 'doubles' revealed that they have fallen in love. According to gossip columnist Cindy Ashabbi, writing in yesterday morning edition of the popular Baghdad Post, male models Urshi Halavah and Dubi Dufflebagous -- better know in the Iraqi capital city as Saddam's left and right profiles -- finally came out of the closet and admitted they had been engaged in a "deep relationship" for several years and were now ready to make...
  • TODAY'S TOP SATIRICAL HEADLINES

    03/17/2003 8:29:14 AM PST · by Apolitical · 3 replies · 222+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | March 17, 2003 | Marni-Rebecca Malarkey et al
    BUSH THREATENS TO SEND U.S. CONGRESS TO BAGHDAD TO RENAME IRAQI FOOD; SADDAM EXPECTED TO BLINK WASHINGTON -- In a bold attempt to prevent war with Iraq, President Bush has told Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein that if Saddam doesn't destroy all his WMDS and biological and chemical weapons within 48 hours, the White House will send Congress to Iraq "to rename all the food over there." The president stressed that "the renaming of food is one of Congress' areas of expertise, something they excel at, something they put a great deal of energy and time into. I mean, this week...
  • TODAY'S LATEST SATIRICAL HEADLINES

    02/16/2003 9:30:49 AM PST · by Apolitical · 222+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | Unknown | William Grim, Marni Malarkey et al
    HOMELAND SECURITY OFFICE ANNOUNCES NEW MICHAEL JACKSON ALERTS WASHINGTON -- Tom Ridge has announced a brand new alert system from the Homeland Security Office to warn Americans of the possibility of a unique kind of threat to American children. The new "Michael Jackson Alert System" is, just like the current terror alert system, colour-coded, and will be communicated in times of dire emergency. The lowest level of threat on the 'Jacko Alert,' as it is known around the Homeland Security Office, is represented by the colour black and is known as the "talented young black man" alert. It indicates that...
  • TODAY'S TOP HEADLINES

    02/02/2003 7:56:50 AM PST · by Apolitical · 2 replies · 277+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | February 2, 2003 | William Grim, Marni Soupcoff et al
    BUSH BEATS BLAIR AT ROCK AND ROLL JEOPARDY At a special revival taping of the long cancelled "Rock and Roll Jeopardy" with President Bush, British Prime Minister Tony Blair failed to identify Pete Best as the former Beatle whose mother ran The Casbah Club. WASHINGTON -- After meeting Friday to discuss the showdown with Iraq, President Bush and British Prime Minister Tony Blair loosened their ties and settled in for a quick round of Rock and Roll Jeopardy at the VH1 studios. "There is a time for seriousness and a time for frivolous trivia games," the president said. Both leaders...
  • Today's Top Headlines

    01/25/2003 9:11:33 AM PST · by Apolitical · 191+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | Uknown | Various
    DEMOCRATS 'RAP' THEIR ECONOMIC PLAN House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi 'gets down' and conveys the Democrats' new economic stimulus package through a 'most soulful' rap song Washington, D.C. -- House Democrats chose an unusual way to announce their economic stimulus package Monday, delivering the news through a rhyming rap tune that Rolling Stone called "mournful" and "more soulful than the usual slasher rhyme." Key elements of the Democrats' rap are a dramatic stanza about unemployment insurance benefits and an elliptical refrain about tax rebates. The song is "cutting and vivid," said Rep. John Spratt, D-S.C., who was responsible for the...
  • NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2050

    01/22/2003 1:03:52 PM PST · by LakerCJL · 33 replies · 664+ views
    email ^ | 1/22/2003 | unknown
    NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2050 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon). Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to...
  • Today's Top Headline News

    01/08/2003 11:49:53 AM PST · by Apolitical · 1 replies · 515+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | January 8, 2004 | Various
    DEMOCRATS 'RAP' THEIR ECONOMIC PLAN House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi 'gets down' and conveys the Democrats' new economic stimulus package through a 'most soulful' rap song Washington, D.C. -- House Democrats chose an unusual way to announce their economic stimulus package Monday, delivering the news through a rhyming rap tune that Rolling Stone called "mournful" and "more soulful than the usual slasher rhyme." Key elements of the Democrats' rap are a dramatic stanza about unemployment insurance benefits and an elliptical refrain about tax rebates. The song is "cutting and vivid," said Rep. John Spratt, D-S.C., who was responsible for the...
  • TODAY'S LATEST HEADLINES

    12/13/2002 7:18:22 AM PST · by clintonbaiter · 8 replies · 336+ views
    The Iconcoclast ^ | Unknown | Various
    STREISAND SPEAKS OUT AGAINST BUSH'S 'UGLY WAR' (San Francisco, CA) -- In an emotional address to cheering patrons of San Francisco's popular Babs is A Babe Baths & Fan Club, Barbra Streisand today spoke out against President George W. Bush's "ugly war" on the vulnerable, little people of Tehran. "People who need people do not wage an abuminable war against helpless Iraqi children, gay people and cross dressers," Ms. Streisand told an enthusiastic audience waving tiny Iraqi flags and baby pictures of Rock Hudson. "They choose peace, empathetic engagement or dialogue instead -- or at least dispatch Jimmy Carter to...
  • Headlines for 2035 (Humor and Prophecy???)

    11/29/2002 10:47:41 AM PST · by CaptSkip · 5 replies · 133+ views
    E-mail FW | 11.28.02 | Unknown
    NEWSPAPER HEADLINES IN THE YEAR 2035 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally . . . Scientists stumped. Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon). Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity...
  • Today's Top Headlines

    11/24/2002 1:49:31 PM PST · by Apolitical · 2 replies · 240+ views
    The Iconoclast ^ | November 24, 2002 | Unknown
    4,000 KILLED AT "ISLAM IS A RELIGION OF PEACE" RALLY (Lagos, Nigeria)--Leaders of the World Council of Churches expressed dismay over the murder of 4,000 innocent bystanders at the annual "Islam Is a Religion of Peace" rally held yesterday in the Nigerian capital city. The slaughter began when Muslim participants became enraged when members of the Lutheran contingent refused to stone to death a waitress whose burqa got tangled and accidentally revealed a glimpse of her ankle. The Reverend Burton J. Pimms-Latherwood, Rector of the Englewood, NJ St. John Ambivalent Episcopal Church and Director of Diversity for the WCC, cautioned...
  • This Weekend's Top News Stories...

    11/10/2002 5:23:25 AM PST · by clintonbaiter · 1 replies · 270+ views
    The Iconcoclast ^ | November 10, 2002 | Unknown
    TOP HEADLINES The Iconoclast (www.iconoclast.ca) SENATOR JIM JEFFORDS CLAIMS HIS SENATE PARTY SWITCH WAS ONLY A "DREAM SEQUENCE" (Burlington, VT)--Turncoat Senator Jim Jeffords, whose switch of political parties last year (Jeffords switched from the Republicans to Democrats) allowed the Democrats to assume control of the Senate, has now commented on the results of the November 5th election that returned control of the Senate to the Republicans. According to Jeffords, his switch to the Democratic Party wasn't real and was only a "dream sequence" devised by his speech writers. Claiming he is still a Republican, Senator Jeffords showed this reporter a...
  • The Conning Tower-Ann Coulter's Revenge

    11/08/2002 6:36:33 AM PST · by Davis · 1 replies · 196+ views
    The Conning Tower ^ | 11/6/02 | Trentino
    We know how the voters voted and we assume that the one-half or so of those eligible to vote who actually voted represent with reasonable accuracy the remainder who did not. That's a reasonable assumption. Yes, we've got the numbers. What we don't know is what motivated the voters to vote as they did, that is, we are ignorant of the precipitating causes of the actions we can see and count. Ignorance is no reason to avoid the responsibility of pontificating about the election. The NYTimes, the Gray Lady of West 43rd Street, the Newspaper of Record, evidently decided that...
  • Download your GOP 2002 Victory Newspaper Headlines Wallpaper for Windows Here!

    11/07/2002 12:55:39 PM PST · by That Subliminal Kid · 54 replies · 975+ views
    My Brain ^ | Today | Me
  • TODAY'S TOP HEADLINES

    10/18/2002 7:41:40 AM PDT · by clintonbaiter · 1 replies · 345+ views
    The Iconcoclast ^ | October 18, 2002 | Unknown
    TOP HEADLINES The Iconoclast (www.iconoclast.ca) FOX NETWORK ADDS "BATTLE OF THE REPUBLICAN THINK TANK BABES" TO FALL LINEUP    (Hollywood) -- At a jam-packed news conference today, Sidney Riemenschneider, director of programming for the Fox Network, announced that the upstart network is adding a new show, Battle of the Republican Think Tank Babes to its Fall 2002 lineup. "We think this show is going to go over gangbusters with the all-important 18-49 conservative male demographic," said Riemenschneider. "Heck, we might even attract a few horny liberals who are tired of Donahue." The premise of the show is based on...