Our either-or cultural template has come to an unattractive head during the recent Gay Moment, as these days are being dubbed. Of course we've already named it. We can't just let an epic or a decade or a moment slip by without a title. A label. A category. Labeling, in fact, is one of our favorite things in compulsive, either/or America. As in, you're either for us or against us. You're either from Mars or from Venus. You're either pro-gay marriage - or you're a right-wing, fascist, dogmatic homophobe. Well, no, not really. Sometimes you're not a homophobe, but you...