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Keyword: itssatirepeople

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  • SATIRE Hillary: 'Sanders Would Be More Likable If He'd Just Have The People Who Don't Like Him Assassinated'

    01/23/2020 11:38:18 AM PST · by bitt · 49 replies
    babylonbee.com ^ | 1/23/2020 | ADMIN
    U.S.—Hillary Clinton had some helpful advice for the Bernie Sanders campaign after she claimed nobody likes him. In a candid moment, she told the interviewer that if she were running the Sanders campaign, the vocal critics would find themselves "swimming with the fishes." "Look, if you want to be likable in politics, you've got to be willing to fight for it, and maybe kill for it," she said. "The absolute number of people that like Bernie may not go up, but the percentage of surviving people who like him will increase. And the people who still don't like him wouldn't...
  • Ga Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country...(Satire)

    07/27/2019 2:54:20 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 12 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 7/22/2019
    Full Title: Georgia Lawmaker Claims Chick-Fil-A Employee Told Her To Go Back To Her Country, Later Clarifies He Actually Said 'My Pleasure' ATLANTA, GA—Georgia state rep Erica Thomas took to social media this weekend to express her disgust and outrage at a Chick-fil-A employee's comments to her in the restaurant's drive-thru. According to her viral Twitter post, the black state worker claims that after saying thank you for her food, the white cashier pointed his finger at her and angrily shouted, "Go back to your country!" "This is what's happening in Trump's America," the post concluded. Thousands of online users...
  • Pope Admits He’s Making Up Pretty Much Everything As He Goes

    06/14/2018 11:28:40 AM PDT · by Lazamataz · 52 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | May 21, 2018
    VATICAN CITY—In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.” Where past Popes have been careful in their attempts to stay in line with official Catholic teaching, Pope Francis confessed he doesn’t really know much official doctrine, stating that he’s more of a “shoot from the hip kind of guy” when it comes to weighty topics of morality, salvation, God, and eternity. “People ask me questions, and I’m...
  • Guns, teachers, and self-defense (Moron teacher would rather let pupils die than defend them.)

    02/25/2010 9:46:19 AM PST · by Seamus Mc Gillicuddy · 34 replies · 996+ views
    Boston.com ^ | 28 Dec 2009 | DOUG VAN GORDER
    I AM a math teacher at Brockton High School, the site of a school shooting earlier this month. Current school security procedures lock down school populations in the event of armed assault. Some advocate abandoning this practice as it holds everyone in place, allowing a shooter easily to find victims. An alternative to lockdown is immediate exodus via announcement. Although this removes potential hostages and makes it nearly impossible for the shooter to acquire preselected targets, it unfairly rewards resourceful children who move to safety off-site more shrewdly and efficiently than others..........
  • Conservatives Beware — Lest You Drive Moderates to Extremism!

    06/10/2009 10:54:06 AM PDT · by AJKauf · 18 replies · 657+ views
    Pajamas Media ^ | June 10 | Frank J. Fleming
    Luckily, the Republicans have a friend like Colin Powell to prevent the destructive influence of conservatives and their beliefs. Powell is the ultimate moderate. When his party nominated a squishy moderate for president last year that the base had to hold its nose to vote for, he still voted for the other party. Now that is a moderate we can all learn from. He knows exactly what the American people want: two parties virtually indistinguishable from each other. That way if people ever begin to dislike one party, they can just vote for the other as a protest without having...
  • Democrats Try to Woo Homosexuals

    08/13/2007 8:28:45 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 14 replies · 374+ views
    http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm ^ | 11 August 2007 | John Semmens
    Democratic candidates for President traveled to Los Angeles to participate in a debate on gay issues. The event, unprecedented for a presidential campaign, was sponsored by the Human Rights Campaign, one of the most powerful gay lobby groups in the world. Senator Hillary Clinton (N.Y.), Senator Barack Obama (Ill.), former senator John Edwards (N.C.) and Governor Bill Richardson (N.M.) said they favored civil unions for gays, but not “marriage” per se. Only Representative Dennis Kucinich (Ohio) and former senator Mike Gravel (Alaska) endorsed same-sex "marriage." “Many married heterosexuals enjoy an occasional anal penetration,” Kucinich declared. “If they can be married,...