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It sounds like a job for Wallace and Gromit. A "monster" rabbit has apparently been rampaging through vegetable patches in a small village in northern England, ripping up leeks, munching turnips and infuriating local gardeners. In an uncanny resemblance to the plot of the hit animated film "Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-Rabbit," angry horticulturists in Felton, near Newcastle, have now mounted an armed guard to protect their prized cabbages and parsnips. "They call it the monster. It's very big -- it's nearly the size of a dog," said Joan Smith, whose son Jeff owns one of...

In this war freedom should come first not after! In New Hampshire the Motto is Live free or Die! I don't need Bush spying on law abiding americans and taking our freedoms. Anyone who surrenders a square inch of freedom to the government in the name of saftey is a traitor and should be treated like one! Let the Bush Fashists all drop dead! Filthy Commys! LET FREEDOM RING!

MIDI - TEENAGER IN LOVE It's really not my fault 'cause our parents we can't pick With headlines I've read lately, I am becoming sick I think I'm in a world that's gone mad I'm hoping Cape Cod Orca Ted's not my dad When there's excessive drinking, don't drive your Oldsmobile If you are on a bridge, don't try to cop a feel I think I'm in a world that's gone mad I'm hoping Cape Cod Orca Ted's not my dad That blowhard is scum...he failed lifeguard class And in the Senate, he's really such an *ss When mother...

MIDI - BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER (musical intro) Alioto, you will be grilled Before we're done with you, we'll have had our fill You racist scum, we'll certainly be exposing you So I am warning you There's a bridge off of which I'll drive you if you don't withdraw There's a bridge off of which I'll drive you if you don't withdraw I failed lifeguard class...you know that But I float pretty well because I am so fat My Oldsmobile has been restored to original So I am warning you There's a bridge off of which I'll drive you...

CHICAGO - A reputed mob enforcer who has been the focus of a nationwide manhunt since federal prosecutors unsealed racketeering-murder charges against the alleged top echelon of the Chicago underworld was arrested Friday, the FBI announced. Frank "The German" Schweihs, 75, was captured without incident when agents swooped down on an apartment he had recently rented in Berea, Ky., a hilly area 40 miles south of Lexington. Schweihs was one of two defendants who slipped away just before federal prosecutors in April unveiled the long-sealed indictment against reputed Chicago mob boss James Marcello and 13 others in the FBI's Operation...

The United States is now undergoing a great reckoning. With collapsing confidence in the government, obsessive debate about the war, rising contempt for the president, shame in relation to the plight of our young soldiers, acrimony at holiday tables -- ''I told you so" versus ''What would you have us do?" -- the nation confronts the all-too-human fact that our frightened responses to Al Qaeda, at home and abroad, have done us far more damage than the nihilist terrorists ever could have. Our communal dread, instead of sharpening our responses, made them reckless. But the damage has not only been...

U.S. Rep. John Murtha, a key Democrat on military issues, on Monday defended his call to pull U.S. troops from Iraq, saying he was reflecting Americans' sentiment. "The public turned against this war before I said it," Murtha said. "The public is emotionally tied into finding a solution to this thing, and that's what I hope this administration is going to find out." Murtha, 73, a decorated Vietnam veteran and the ranking Democrat on the House Appropriations defense subcommittee, said he has received support from the public since calling for the troop pullout on Thursday. He said he has gotten...

One financial expert describes it as one of the most stunning transfers of wealth in human history, from the pockets of taxpayers to the pockets of government employees. What will it take to awaken the victims? What's happening is that extravagant increases in pensions and other compensation of state and local government employees threaten to cause a wave of bankruptcies, tax increases and cutbacks in services. An analysis by the L.A. Daily News this week showed that California's largest public agencies face an increase of $108 billion in pension costs compared to just three years ago. According to the Legislative...

Word out of Duluth, Georgia is that runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks is ready to take the plunge with her fiancé, John Mason, 3½ months after wedding-day jitters prompted her to skip town and claim she was abducted. The two have reportedly registered at Pottery Barn. The registry lists things like dining room furniture, a desk and some wine glasses, but shoppers say that's not what Wilbanks really needs: "How about a mirror to take a look at herself?" "A suitcase." "A ball and chain to tie her to the room when he comes in." "She should be registered at Athlete's...

/begin my translation    S. Korea: Runaway Pig Returned with Vengeance after a Year, Trashing a Village Bosung, YonhapNews 2005.07.14    A runaway pig returned to its owner's village after a year, and trashed the place in the middle of night. In the end, police shot it to death. According to the July 14th report from Bosung Police in S. Cholla Province , at 7pm on July 13th, a pig showed up at the goat shed of Mr. Cho(age:50) in Madong-ri, Polkyo Township, Bosung County, S. Cholla Province.  Weighing about 290 pounds, the pig started to rampage around the village, prompting about...

Remember Runaway Bride Jennifer Wilbanks? How could any of us forget the fleeing fiancée, considering the wall-to-wall media coverage we had to endure. Well, now after pleading no contest to faking her own kidnapping, Wilbanks has been sentenced to probation and community service. She's also been fined $2,550 and is repaying the city of Duluth, Georgia, $13,250 towards the $40,000 search tab. In addition, Wilbanks is receiving treatment at a mental health facility. Oh, yeah, did I mention that she's just snagged a book and TV deal for a reported half-million dollars? That's right. According to the New York Post,...

A surveillance video shows that the partner of a police officer who was shot three times during a car stop last week in Brooklyn ran away and, for several minutes, failed to help the wounded officer, a police official said yesterday. The actions of the partner, Officer Gilberto T. Marrero, are under investigation by the Police Department's Firearms Discharge Review Board as part of its routine inquiry into the shooting, said the official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because the investigation is still under way. Officer Marrero, a 12-year veteran, could face dismissal if the board concludes that...

BRYAN, Texas (AP) - A Texas A&M University student who had been feared murdered after disappearing nearly seven years ago has been found alive and working in Kentucky, according to authorities. Brandi Stahr went missing in October 1998, and police spent hours searching for her body in wooded areas. They questioned a serial rapist and murderer about her just hours before he was executed last year. But a telephone tip led investigators to Florence, Ky., where Stahr has been working for the last five years at a Sam's Club, said Texas Ranger Frank Malinak. "We thought we were dealing with...

CNN breakin news says... "Runaway bride" Jennifer Wilbanks pleads guilty to felony charge of making false statements to police. Details soon.

Thousands of insects attack in Foothills; no one hurt badly By Becky Pallack ARIZONA DAILY STAR Jon Hoyt was just joking Thursday when he pointed at a buzzing bee near his front door and told a friend it was an "attack bee." Then the swarm came. Several thousand very aggressive bees exploded from a nearby hive box and stung six people in the Foothills neighborhood before firefighters could destroy the insects. It was one of two bee incidents in Tucson on Thursday, but no one suffered serious injuries in either. The bees near Hoyt were disturbed when a man went...

An Islamic website statement claimed today that Abu-Musab al-Zarqawi, al-Qaida in Iraq chief, has fled to an unidentified “neighbouring country” with two Arab doctors treating him for gunshot wounds to his lung. There was no way to verify the authenticity of the claim. The site used to carry al-Qaida postings, but has fallen out of use recently. Soon, the posting appeared on another militant site, where it quickly came under attack from other posters as untrue and unauthorised by al-Qaida. The statement from somebody identified only as al-Khalidi – the same name as a regular poster for the site in...

Jennifer Wilbanks certainly captured America’s attention during the last week of April, 2005. The Georgia bride-to-be disappeared for three days triggering a nationwide search, then miraculously reappeared in Albuquerque, NM. Initially, she claimed she had been kidnapped, even raped, and had somehow escaped from her captors. After making a collect telephone call to her fiancé and parents from a pay phone, the local police located and rescued her. Within minutes of being questioned by the police, Miss Wilbanks retracted her story admitting that she had left on her own volition and that the entire story of abduction was a hoax....

GAINESVILLE - Attorney Lydia Sartain said Monday she wants to set the record straight by saying she did not personally prosecute her now client, runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks in 1996. The Atlanta Journal reported Sunday that Sartain was the prosecutor of the shoplifting arrest but Sartain said the pre-trail diversion program handled the charges. "Those folks handled her case." Sartain said. "She qualified for the program and evidently completed the program. Subsequent offenses were prosecuted by the state court and municipal courts, so I was not involved in those." She added even if she had prosecuted Wilbanks, it would not...

Runaway Bride's Attorney Previously Prosecuted Her POSTED: 11:02 am CDT May 8, 2005 UPDATED: 11:57 am CDT May 8, 2005 ATLANTA -- Court records reportedly show that runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks served jail time for shoplifting several years ago. SURVEY Has media scrutiny of "Runaway Bride" Jennifer Wilbanks gone too far? Yes. Leave her alone. No. She asked for it. Who's Jennifer Wilbanks? Results | Disclaimer The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is reporting Wilbanks faced a felony charge back in 1996 for allegedly shoplifting $1,700 worth of merchandise from a mall. Records show the prosecutor in that case dropped the charge after...

Never has our nation been more united than in our current consensus that Jennifer Wilbanks is officially coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. I’m talkin’ coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. Y’know, we can’t seem to harmonize over Iraq, judicial nominees, or what to do with social security, but we have formally joined in one accord and have spewed our national coffee over the goggle-eyed runaway bride, aka, Jenny from Georgia. It seems as if this Georgia peach has officially begun to turn. For what it’s worth, here’s what I propose we require of this damsel who’s hanging on by a thin wire: 1....