Free Republic

WORLD—North Korean President Kim Jong Un came under intense scrutiny this week after meeting with a barbaric nation that has killed over 60 million of its young since legalizing abortion in 1973. Political commentators agreed that by meeting with the nation of savages that abort hundreds of thousands of their young each and every year, Kim Jong Un appeared to be legitimizing the backwards, depraved nation of America. “Just picture Kim Jong Un up there shaking hands with Hilter,” one pundit said. “That’s basically what this amounts to, when you consider that he’s meeting with a country that his killed...

VATICAN CITY—In an honest, impromptu homily delivered Monday, Pope Francis admitted he is just making most of his theology up as he goes, ignoring thousands of years of official Church doctrine in favor of “whatever pops into my head at the time.” Where past Popes have been careful in their attempts to stay in line with official Catholic teaching, Pope Francis confessed he doesn’t really know much official doctrine, stating that he’s more of a “shoot from the hip kind of guy” when it comes to weighty topics of morality, salvation, God, and eternity. “People ask me questions, and I’m...

(Cullowhee, NC) Preparations for the the upcoming August 21st solar eclipse are in high gear at Western Carolina University. The school is located within the zone of totality in the mountainous part of the state. Afternoon classes will be cancelled and festivities on the Central Plaza will include Native American moon dancers, performance art and the Tasty Tofu Taco Truck, locally known as T4. But there are some students who will be refusing the eclipse and have demanded the University provide a safe space for them during the event. So far three groups have separately approached University officials with concerns...

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon announced Tuesday it had awarded a sole-source contract to United Airlines for work related to the forcible removal of President Bashar al-Assad from Syria. The contract, worth $2.1 billion, tasks the airline company with locating Assad, grabbing him from his seat in the presidential palace, and “dragging him out of Damascus by his arms.” The contract also notes that Assad should be “asked several times, politely” to give up his seat of power, though if he refuses, United workers should bloody his nose up a bit, according to the posting at FedBizOpps. The award comes just...