How many diseases have been eradicated or controlled by good hygiene? And do these dopes have a companion site called, “Wash Your Hands”?
You can't make this stuff up.
There are two things that are even better than this. The first would be to make toilet paper out of refined hemp, which is almost like silk. The second, and even easier idea is to use a bidet.
Since most American homes would be difficult to rig for a bidet, just using an enema bag with warm water removes that vast majority of the mess, so you need just one piece of toilet paper, not to wipe, but to dry.
In most cases, even a washcloth will do. As peculiar as a bidet sounds to most Americans, it is very easy to get used to, and works better than toilet paper.
When my mother came down with dementia, she stopped using toilet paper, and switched to washcloths. When I came to visit, I would frequently find a row of used washcloths wadded up and displayed on the edge of the bathtub.
Reusable toilet paper has been around a long time but has gone out of style. Clothe diapers were reusable toilet paper.