The other side to this story is that there are many stay-at-home mothers who are lousy mothers. I babysat for hundreds of families for twenty years and I saw how many women who were lauded for “staying home with their kids” had sitters most of the time as they took tennis lessons or did volunteer work. There were other mothers who were in fact home with their kids but screamed at them and ignored them as much as they could.
I ask only that I not have to PAY for anyone else’s daycare. Beyond that, it's none of my business.
Ummm... if they're GONE all the time for the reasons you stated, they're not stay-at-home moms, by definition.