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To: george76

Cremation was pretty popular among the Romans. There’s actually a sort of shrine built on the spot where Julius Caesar — perhaps the first populist politician — was cremated, and it still gets covered in flowers. Hadrian’s tomb is a big thing, but AFAIK it held nothing but cremations. Burial was not unheard of; along the Appian Way near Rome there are tombs, just as there were on the roads leading out of Etruscan cities and towns. But most of those tombs too held cremations, and a good many (it sez here, I double checked my blather) were from the Christian era of the late empire.

I should also point out that, according to Lionel Casson (”Travel in the Ancient World”, it’s well worth reading) pork was a popular meat in Roman times, but unscrupulous vendors found that, when the Games were rollin’, they could get human flesh much cheaper and fresher, and human flesh is pretty much indistinguishable from pork. Drool, drool.

Undertaker: Yea. Now there’s three things we can do with your mum. We can bury her, burn her, or dump her.

Man: Dump her?

Undertaker: Dump her in the Thames.

Man: What?

Undertaker: Oh, did you like her?

Man: Yes!

Undertaker: Oh well, we won’t dump her, then. Well, what do you think: burn her, or bury her?

Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?

Undertaker: Well they’re both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she’s not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you can pretend are hers.

Man: Oh.

Undertaker: Or, if you don’t wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she’ll get eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn’t so hot if, as I said, she’s not quite dead.

Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I’m not very sure. She’s definitely dead.

Undertaker: Where is she?

Man: In this sack.

Undertaker: Let’s ‘ave a look.

Umm, she looks quite young.

Man: Yes, she was.

Undertaker: (over his shoulder) FRED!

Fred (Eric Idle): (offstage) Yeah?

Undertaker: I THINK WE’VE GOT AN EATER!

Fred: I’ll get the oven on!

Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should eat my mother?

(pause)

Undertaker: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She’d be delicious with a few french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)

Man: What!?

(pause)

Man: Actually, I do feel a bit peckish - No! NO, I can’t!

Undertaker: Look, we’ll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.


9 posted on 12/20/2007 7:40:57 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Profile updated Tuesday, December 18, 2007___________________https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/)
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To: SunkenCiv

Monte Python meets the Donner Party?


10 posted on 12/20/2007 9:26:24 PM PST by Pelham (No Deportation, the new goal of the Amnesty Republicans)
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