[The Comedian]

I’m breakin’ out the reserve bottle of Jack for this.

I'm actually hording single malt scotch.

I don't really want to be sober when I have to listen to shortwave reports of Democrats eating each other in the cities.

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[humblegunner]

Odd you should mention shortwave.

I’ve got a neat rig on order, shortwave, AM/FM, waterproof.

Runs off AC, solar, crank or batteries.

Plus you can charge your cell phone off of it.

Should be fun. Hurricane season, y’know.