The wheel was invented the first time someone saw a rock roll down a hill...but alas, the observer was killed in the landslide so it wasn't until his 8th cousin, 23 times removed saw the same thing and lived to invent the wheel.
His younger brother invented the unicycle, left his wife and went off to do the hot blonde in cave No. 37.
The hot blonde stole the unicycle and went off to Cave No. 28 where the priest lived and confessed her sin. For her penance, she had to donate the unicycle to the church and the priest enjoyed his Sunday rides.
You probably think this is all made up but we have the unicyle at our little museum in the Village. Hoe's that for evidence!!
Man invernted not just the wheel, but the also the pole required to make use of the new found technology.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFTttl4Bmz4
This is all a good story, but in reality all that matters in the world is if Newt asked for an open marriage.