““Of course. I was too drunk to walk...””
Unless one is really ripped, it is usually safer to drive home drunk than to walk home. If you walk, you are a sitting duck for the pigs (a little OWS lingo), whereas if you can drive reasonably well, you’ll make it home.
Of course, ideally, marry a non-drinker (i.e., non-American) and you won’t have to make that decision.
I married a nice American girl. She cured me of— walking...now I just march... ;-)