To have a wonderful marriage takes respect and love by both parties—you always bring out the BEST in your spouse—but that is the maxim for ALL successful mature relationships.
You have to love yourself (God) so that you can love others. Otherwise, that “need” will destroy any relationship. You BOTH need to grow in knowledge and wisdom-—by learning and doing constructive things together.
Because you live intimately with another person-—makes this love and respect all the more important-—because the spouse has the knowledge to destroy their mate because of their intimacy and lack of secrecy. This vulnerability CAN NEVER be exploited. (That is hate and not love-—or it is stupidity—I could NOT stand to be married either to a “stupid” person).
I just went to the funeral of a Doctor-—married for over 60 years and they were the happiest people-—and the most intellectual-—that I have ever known. They had a fabulous life-—raised daughters-—have grandchildren—traveled around the world. Read the Bible daily.
Why were they the happiest? They grew together-—lost a child-—and were stronger for it because of their belief in God. They treated each other with the upmost respect-—never taking each other for granted. Most important thing to BOTH-—God, first. Then, they were able to love everyone-—see such joy in everything-—even death.
Attitude is everything. People who are pessimists do not truly believe in God. People who are haters and rude-—do not truly believe in God. People who are narcissists-—do not truly believe in God. People who are mean and selfish—do not believe in God.
(They will not be perfect-—so if they do on occasion slip—it should be forgiven-—but if it is a pattern-—there is no belief in God.)
It does not take a rocket scientist to understand that without God a person is never “selfless”—which is necessary for an intimate relationship. There is no happiness and no love without God—because there will be no selflessness. There will always be ulterior, evil motives to use people-—without God.
With God-—an extremely happy marriage is possible==but only with God.