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It is like totally obvious that Oetzi (aka "The Iceman") was, to judge from his street name and tatts, a known gang member who had turned his life around and was devoted to mountain environmentalism, sustainable agriculture, and healthy organic food.

Witnesses maintain he had already surrendered when he was shot in the back by an Alpine Patrol Officer. Oetzi was carrying flint and tinder, police claim. He was also heavily armed. Demonstrations were scheduled, but were cancelled when a blizzard blew in and temperatures dropped. Organpzers claim that neolithic young men are disproportionally profiled by Alpine Cops and that there are no Neolithic Jobs in their communities. Their settlements are often red-lined by lenders and have few business to burn down.