Sounds like you have had a personal experience that I (Thank God) have been spared.
Right you are, the victims are never just the prime victim, IMO its dangerous to you personally, to get involved with such people. I have watched loving parents of these people, destroyed emotionally, in loving care of their children.
It carries into your life long after you rid yourself of such people. I call them succubus, because they do suck the life out of you, and those around you.
I am sure many here can look at this woman, old before her years, and know somehow that this agony is self imposed.
I deal with the “Old Tapes” that come forward from the past experiences, sometime daily with people I love, that say to me, who are you talking about, because surely its not them, and they are right.
So my FR friends be careful out there.