Tom Brady Sure Glad He Gave Up Family For This SPORTS Jan 18, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
TAMPA BAY, FL — In a moving press conference following a crushing loss to the Dallas Cowboys, quarterback Tom Brady said how thankful he was to have given up life with a supermodel wife and three beautiful children to lose in the first round of playoffs.
"Yeah, I may have lost my family and ruined my kids' lives, but I gained the ability to throw a leather ball at people and watch them catch it for another half of a season," said Brady. "I'm good at doing that ball-throwing thing. It makes me feel good. So fun. But now it looks like that's all over, so yeah, I dunno. I guess it was worth it. Yay!"
Except I don't think footballs are made out of leather -- or even pigskin -- anymore.