Posted on 04/21/2024 6:46:48 PM PDT by DoodleBob
Ah, the office – a place where language goes to get dressed in a suit and tie, only to trip over its own shoelaces. Here are 21 phrases that we’ve all heard ad nauseam, and if we’re being honest, wouldn’t miss if they were banished from the corporate lexicon forever:
#1. “Touch Base”
Because nothing says “I don’t actually play baseball” like using a sports metaphor to schedule a meeting.
#2. “Reach Out”
What are we, in a 90s boy band? Just say “I’ll send you an email” and leave the emotional ballads out of it.
#3. “Circle Back”
Less reminiscent of a productive workplace strategy, more an endless loop of doom where nothing ever gets resolved.
#4. “Synergize”
The verbal equivalent of a corporate trust fall. It’s supposed to mean teamwork but sounds more like a new age retreat.
#5. “Think Outside the Box”
If we had a nickel for every time this was said, we could construct a very large, very square box to trap the phrase in forever.
#6. “Leverage”
Originally a physics term, now just a fancy way of saying “use.” Because why use simple words when you can sound like a Wall Street tycoon?
#7. “Paradigm Shift”
Nothing quite like invoking the cosmos to describe changing the office printer.
#8. “Deep Dive”
Not a thrilling ocean adventure, but an overly long meeting about statistics. Bring a snorkel.
#9. “Bandwidth”
Unless you work at NASA, you’re probably just talking about time. Spoiler: nobody’s downloading you.
#10. “Low-Hanging Fruit”
Great for describing apples, less so for the easily achievable tasks that somehow still aren’t done.
#11. “Move the Needle”
Unless we’re all suddenly DJs, can we agree to just say “make progress”?
#12. “Boil the Ocean”
An epic quest to accomplish the impossible, or just corporate speak for trying to do way too much? You decide.
#13. “Take it Offline”
Because apparently, talking in person is now akin to being in airplane mode.
#14. “Win-Win Situation”
A mythical scenario, much like a unicorn, where everyone is happy and nobody’s spreadsheet gets rejected.
15. “On My Radar”
Unless you’re air traffic control, let’s stick to “I’m aware of it.”
#16. “Ping Me”
Not a game of table tennis, just a request for a message. Sadly, paddles are not involved.
#17. “Drill Down”
A phrase that makes you feel like you’re in for some serious dental work, rather than a closer look at the details.
#18. “Game Changer”
Overused to the point of meaninglessness. Changing the game or just changing the PowerPoint template?
#19. “At the End of the Day”
Spoiler: It’s night. Also, a filler phrase that’s the verbal equivalent of shrugging.
#20. “It’s on My Plate”
Because “I’m working on it” wasn’t foodie enough.
#21. “Ecosystem”
Unless we’re discussing the rainforest, can we agree our office plant doesn’t constitute an ecosystem?
So, next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, take a moment to laugh, then say what you mean. After all, clear communication is the key to success, not the ability to speak in buzzwords.
“I’m wondering if the writer made “Boil The Ocean” up himself.”
I have never heard that one.
There is “plow the sea” which is very old and it means utter futility.
What does “crack” mean in that context? Is it supposed to mean that it’s “really good?”
When did “price” become “price point” and “disrespect” become a verb”?😬
I dislike all of those and have made it a point never to use them.
***What?? “Lean into” is not on the list?***
I *hate* that one!!
BTO is a biggie.
It’s used to say that a quick analysis or talk will do, versus a month-long study or an all-day meeting.
“Just look at last year’s sales trend John…there’s no need to boil the ocean here.”
“Reach out” has always annoyed me. It’s *contact* damn it!!!
When our company got bought out by a bigger company the victors took over everything, including the vocabulary.
For weeks they talked about “silos.”
Finally I said we don't have silos down here much; can we just say corncribs.
They were not amused.
“going forward”
phrase used, especially in business, to mean “in the future”
In the future? NO.
Going forward is something a car does.
“From now on” is what the little hammerheads are trying to say, but Stupidity reigns Supreme with the bulk of the population.
.
“Reach out.”
Oh hell, just gag me please.
“reaching out” is something people do with their hands.
If someone wishes to communicate with someone else they contact them, call them,
meet with them, converse with them.
“Reaching out” sounds like something fags would say.
Probably where it came from...
.
“going forward” is my hated phrase that’s not on this list.
Idea for next year? How about "21 Office Buzzwords Stories It’s Time to Banish Forever?"
-PJ
Ping didn’t come from ping pong, it came from the military and sonar.
More than the “boy band” reference, it sounds like something community activist groups do to each other.
“Reach it to BLM to join us for the Antifa rally.”
“Lean into” should be on there, for sure.
I use most of these actually with colleagues and family.
Not sure why folks get so stirred up about them?
I’m guessing they’re the old folks who can’t keep up with lingo.
sustainable...
Growing up, “research” had connoations (to me) of serious work in a lab, or on a site, and physical experimentation.
In the last decade or so, I’ve heard people use it to mean “to look up stuff” either on the internet or in a library. I’ve also heard it used to describe what I would call “homework” for highschool and undergrad students.
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