Posted on 08/03/2005 5:22:51 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o
Something is going wrong in Christian communities. ... many Christians, even in churches that teach sex is only for marriage, have premarital sex.
• Three surveys of single Christian adults [showed that]one third were virgins—meaning, of course, that two thirds were not.
• In 2003, researchers at Northern Kentucky University showed that 61 percent of students who signed sexual-abstinence commitment cards broke their pledges.
• Of the remaining 49 percent who kept their pledges, 55 percent said they'd had oral sex, and did not consider oral sex to be sex.
So what is going on?
In combating [unchaste behavior], we often tell a few fibs ourselves. [Christians] say things about ..sexual sin, that are untrue and unhelpful.
Fib #1: Premarital sex makes you feel lousy.
Sometimes, it is not true. Sometimes, even after sinful sex, a person will feel fantastic..
Fib #2: Women don't really want to have sex.
Okay, I admit it: this is a fib that really ticks me off. ...
Fib #3: Premarital sex leaves permanent scars
.. But they are not scars that defy healing. ... We distort the gospel when we focus on the long-term effects of sin at the expense of forgiveness.
...Honest, helpful talk about sex involves speaking not only about the will (as in, "Just keep your pants zipped up," or "Just walk away from that Internet porn," or "Just go for a run or take a cold shower when you feel like masturbating"), but also about grace.
Disciplining strong bodily urges like sexual desire is never possible simply though the will; it is possible only through the overflowing of God's grace....
Lauren F. Winner is the author of Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity (Brazos
(Excerpt) Read more at christianitytoday.com ...
ok...
I skimmed through one of her books at the bookstore, after reading some reviews. It made me uncomfortable. YMMV, however.
Perhaps you would like to "talk" with Mr. Don-o about this?
Wow! Wish I had read this 30 years ago .....but more importantly, will have it handy for our foster kids. The truth will set you free.
I will say this about sex...anything that puts self ahead of Him is a waste (and don't think I haven't wasted a lot of my life). But all's well that ends well.
Bottom line. Sex for pleasure (not for love) is just another drug. It is anti-Christ. It separates you and me from Him. And only love of Him (and His for you) can pull you and me away from that awesome pleasure.
Thanks for alerting me - will be a-pinging probably tomorrow.... So tired I can't find the letters on my keyboard...
Oh, we do. ;^)
Wow! A Christian who admits that women have strong libidos.
Obviously, sexual pleasure either evolved or was designed by a Creator. It doesn't matter whether sexual pleasure comes from self or with a willing partner, who also enjoys the pleasure. Sexual pleasure is part of our DNA.
We are clear that exploiting another for selfish purposes is un-Christian, and usually illegal.
Many people come closest to God only when in passion they say, "Oh God, oh god". If this is how they come to the Lord, let it be.
But after they take out taxes all you get is a tired feeling.
Moral Absolutes Ping.
I didn't click it and read the whole article, running behind here. But if mrs. don-o thinks it's good, I'll think it's good!
Freepmail me if you want on/off this pinglist.
Lying to young people (or anyone) to get them to do the right thing, is not the right thing. The truth is what sets people free, not trickery in the guise of truth. God gave us free will - and the more truth we know, the more light shines on the subject, so we will voluntarily choose to take the path that leads to Him. What's the old saying?
"A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still."
More like didn't grow up around Catholic girls.
For instance: if you say, "Sex out of wedlock will make you feel soiled and cheap" --- you'd better add "...in the long run." And you'd better acknowledge that it can make you feel exhilarated and gratified in the SHORT RUN. Otherwise, skeptical young sinners will conclude, "Geez, I guess Pastor here never had any 'good' sex when he was young-- probably too tied up in guilt knots: that's the trouble with Christianity" or "Pastor really doesn't know much about sex, does he?"
And you have to say, "However good it may feel, the moral life is not based on feelings. Fornication can make you feel great. Purity can lead periods of feeling frustration, conflict, and stress. Honest to God. But living by His laws is still worth it, because He created human nature, and He knows what is good for us."
Saying "Females don't have much sex drive, and are invariably the victims in illicit sexual encounters" will just get you laughed off campus.
Better to acknowledge: "Girls/women can experience strong, urgent sexual desires. Being human means your brain can overrule your libido. Being fallen means you're already in a weakened condition, and it's going to be a struggle. Being Christian means you have the constant help of the Holy Spirit. Get an explicit agreement from your friends (male and female) that you will help each other be chaste, regardless of strong temptation."
I think I understand the kind of chastity advocate that Winner is reacting to. Way back when I was in Catholic High School, we had a chastity speaker who, while full of bright-eyed idealism, nevertheless gave the impression that she had never in her life had any red-hot, rockin' and rollin' temptations.
We girls just rolled our eyes and said, "I know why this old dame was chaste. She apparently never had any interesting opportunities..."
Sex is the sin that gives us each something to ask forgiveness for.
Most of us do not experience the irresistible urge to embezzle.
Thanks for the additional comments. Another point is that sexual impulses are often strongest in the teenage years and twenties. People often "mellow" with age.
And whatever the senses and mind focus on influences what kind of desires grow... If people watch pornography or sexually titillating entertainment, it is not surprising that they are likely to have stronger sexual urges, often not in connection with marriage.
Play with fire, you get burned!
Another point that I consider very important is this: The ultimate root of all desire is the desire to love God. It gets transformed through idenitifying with the bodily vehicle, and further colored by what we let our minds and senses dabble in. The deepest longing of the heart is the longing to be re-united with God in love. And just a drop of that inner connection - that little taste of eternity - is more satisfying than any glitter or zing the world has to offer, including any kind of sex, gold, or glory.
Amen.
Double amen.
And that little taste of eternity is available to each one of us, it is our inheritance. To reject it is to continue to be the lost son, eating the swill of the swine.
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