Seaside: Not All it's Sleazed Up to Be

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[Coleus]

Seaside: Not All it's Sleazed Up to Be

Posted by Belmar Benny August 07, 2007 11:51AM

Categories: Belmar Benny, Photos

There's no doubt the first reaction most people have when mentioning Seaside Heights will somehow invoke the term "Sleazeside". And sure, Seaside is certainly the most honky-tonk shore town next to Wildwood, and the filthiest next to Atlantic City, but it's not without its charms.  Disregarding nightlife- which aside from Bamboo in my opinion, leaves nothing to be desired (unless you're an 18 year-old juice-bag on coke, who enjoys dancing with your shirt off in a circle of like-minded men)- Seaside is pretty cool. Yeah, it's a little run-down- I wouldn't want to spend a week's vacation there- but it's perfect for a day/night trip, like the one my girlfriend and I went on a few weeks back.

First of all, if anyone has any suggestions on a good place to eat dinner on the Seaside boardwalk- please, let me know for future reference. We walked up and down looking for anything that didn't revolve around pizza or a greasy cheesesteak on a paper plate, with very little luck. We ended up at Spicy, a Tex-Mex restaurant/ bar which was sufficient enough, but not exactly fantastic. I guess when you're in a town that specializes in T-shirts featuring

[Coleus]

Calvin peeing on something, you can't really expect food above carnival quality.

But forget about the food- if throwing your money away on dart games, pinball, and crane machines is your bag (and it's certainly mine), then you're definitely in the right town. We must have spent $100 trying to win 3,000 tickets so that we could trade them in for a $15 Webkin. Before July, I hadn't the slightest clue what a Webkin was- that word did not exist in my language- but NOW... now it haunts me like a poltergeist... now the image of a metal claw lifting a stuffed pig high into the air, only to drop it back down, swallowing another twenty dollars, is burned into my skull... because one Webkin is never enough... apparently, you must have ALL the Webkinz!

   

 

Pac Man Fever

The southern most arcade, on the beach-side of the boardwalk- the one attached to Funtown Pier- is pretty awesome. They have this room sectioned off in the back called "Flashbacks"- and it's filled with all sorts of old-school video games- Spy Hunter, Tempest, Ghostbusters, Rygar... I could have spent the entire night in that place. I played a bad-ass round of Tapper, which surprised me by having a large pixilated "Budwiser" sign on the game screen- I just didn't think they'd be allowed to do that... it must be a generation thing- like when they used to show kids smoking cigarettes in cereal commercials during the 50's. No original Star Wars though... you know, the one with all the wire-frame? That might be the greatest arcade game of all time.

They also have one of those old light-gun shooting galleries in the building- the kind where you pay a quarter then shoot little red targets with a riffle, making a buzzard scream, or a man play the piano. I like those things- they're pretty rare now- so I made my girlfriend take this picture of me playing:

What we didn't realize, was that taking a picture of a light-gun shooting range sets off all the targets. So all of a sudden, there's a camera flash followed by every animated prop going BONKERS with a series of bells, bangs, and squeals. Birds are flapping, cows are mooing, cans are flying up in the air, dancers are showing their underwear... all at once... loudly. We were asked by the workers not to take any more pictures... but how could we possibly not?! You absolutely need to try this next time you stumble across one of these- if you don't find it hysterical, you must hate life... or be mature.

Ride at your own risk

Casino Pier has some fun rides- although some of them look like they came out of a fireman's carnival in Western Pennsylvania and were once run by a one-armed man named "Scratchy"- can't get me on those. But you can't go wrong with "The Centrifuge"- a large, indoor Scrambler that tosses you around in complete darkness while a sound and light system worthy of a large nightclub assault you with pounding rock music- or "Stillwalk Manor", which is one of the best ride-though haunted houses I've ever been in.

If you've been avoiding Seaside for fear of turning into trash- you're missing out... you can check most of your class at the door, but you definitely don't need to sport a mullet to enjoy what it has to offer.

Some random parting points accompanied by a small gallery of Sights at the Heights:

As seen on The Grind

Here's what the site of the old MTV beach house looks like today- the "Welcome to Seaside Heights" mural has been painted over for reason's unknown, and it looks like someone has turned it into their own summer residence. Jesse Camp rulez!

You have to see what Jenkinson's did with the old "Water Works". Renaming it "Breakwater Beach", it looks like a pretty cool- and perfectly clean- water park.

If you're looking for a little nightlife, but want to avoid Merge and the sort, or even just want an afternoon drink- the boardwalk is absolutely LOADED with places to get LOADED. Just don't expect too mush excitement- these places generally fall on the "dive" end of the spectrum.

[Coleus]

My favorite boardwalk.

[pandoraou812]

This boardwalk is about 20 min from me. Sassy loves it but I let the big brothers take her there. I stopped going there when they took away the bungee jumping. I loved jumping and seeing all the lights and being over the water...I guess I am a bit too old for that now too . EFG ~Pandy~

[Tired of Taxes]

For several summers now, our family’s favorite daytrip has been Island Beach with a night on the boardwalk at Seaside Heights. (The rides are too expensive, so we just treat the kids to funnel cake, maybe pizza, and the arcades.) The first time we were there, a sideshow was being held on one of the piers, and a woman holding a snake walked onstage. The announcer introduced her by saying: “She’s crazy... even by Jersey standards.” Right there, I liked Seaside Heights. It didn’t seem tourist-y at all. I commented to my husband that it seemed like most of the people walking the boards there were Jersey natives. (Accent, etc.)

But I don’t think we’ll be returning again. The last time, the flies were attacking fiercely on Island Beach, and the boardwalk at Seaside Heights seemed to have lost its personality. Maybe it was just a bad day...

[pandoraou812]

I love Island Beach too. I like it best in the colder months on a sunny day. The foxes come out & there are no flies. You get a bad day with flies there & it is just terrible. I don't bother to go to SeaSide Hts anymore . I let my older sons take their sister now. I stick mainly to Pt Pleasant Beach boardwalk . They have the wristband night. I also love Sandy Hook. Living by the ocean I find I never go to the beach in the summer months. I just hate the traffic. You might find these links interesting

www.pointpleasantbeach.com

www.seasideheightstourism.com

[Tired of Taxes]

Thanks for the advice and the links. I’m going to talk my husband into trying a different beach, and I’ll suggest trying Island Beach in cooler weather.

[pandoraou812]

If Sandy Hook isnt too far for you its a great day trip. There are the twin light towers in the Highlands which I find very interesting. Sandy hook has lots of neat old buildings & it is on both the bay & the ocean like Island Beach. Fishing is good there too. I am in Brick so I am pretty central to much of the coast which is nice. I spend most of my time down in the New Gretna area where we keep a summer trailer. I love Bass River & Batsto parks. ~Pandora~

[Clemenza]

From what I remember in the few visits during my youth, Seaside was where the stoners and drunks hung out.

From what I understand, Somers Point was very much the same way when my dad was a kid.

Of course, if you still want sleaze, and to bump elbows with the tattooed and toothless set, may I suggest Wildwood?

[Clemenza]

I got to Spring Lake because it is quiet and the restrictions (no radios or coolers) keep the riff raff away. Nice, non-commercial boardwalk for running, and the parking is free (although impossible to get a space after 10:30-11).

My main objection to Spring Lake is the lake of public showers, which means I have to drive back to Lawrenceville (over 40 miles away) and can't hang out in the other shore towns after my day at the beach.

I miss my family's old house at Point Pleasent.

[pandoraou812]

Spring Lake is really nice & I love the big old houses & hotels. Its too bad they’ve gotten rid of so many of them. I live right next to Pt Pleasant Beach but I don’t bother with the beach there either. Too crowded for me. I remember staying at the Breakers, I think it was in Spring Lake as a child. We had to dress up for dinner way back then. Have a great day..~Pandora~

[Tired of Taxes]

I haven’t been to Wildwood for 20 years. I spent every summer through childhood and into my early 20’s with relatives who owned property there. We loved it. (We’re neither tattooed nor toothless, though I do have friends who are tattooed.) I heard Wildwood is like Disneyland nowadays with all the amusement rides. Is it a family-friendly atmosphere, or do mostly rowdy teens and twenty-somethings go there?