Posted on 09/02/2010 1:17:54 PM PDT by HushTX
This weekend I'm going out of town to visit family. First we're going to see my wife's side of the family, and following that we're going to see my parents and younger sisters. Part of me is looking forward to this, part of me is dreading it.
I will be telling both sides of the family that I am joining the Army. Seems like a good thing, right?
Here's the problem: My wife and I have decided that she will be moving and taking a job near her family. This means giving up her current job and taking a $10K a year pay cut from what she makes now. This decision was made entirely because I will be gone for an undetermined amount of time- I haven't signed yet, so don't know how long AIT and such will be- and this will be the first time in her life she will be living on her own. I want her to have family around so she has a good support network. Unfortunately, her father learned about her plan to take a different job with a pay cut, but does NOT know it is because I am going into the military. As you might expect, he came unglued. I can understand. If we were just moving and losing 10K a year that would seem insane, especially given the state of the economy.
I had hoped to have my contract signed already and be on DEP so that this weekend could be a positive reveal, a nice surprise that most of the family will respect and be excited about. Instead, it has turned into something negative because of the drama that has ensued. Bring on the curse of the in-laws, I guess.
On the other hand, I have no idea how my parents are going to react. I expect them to be supportive, since I almost joined the Army quite a few years ago. Circumstances led me down a different path, but I've decided to finally finish what I started. I think they will understand, but even if they don't it's my life. Still, I wanted to make it a nice occasion.
In any event, look back to what I said about my wife's father. I know he is very pro-military, and I think he would normally accept and support this. However, I am dreading this weekend's gathering because he is so livid over the whole mess, due to having only half the story. HOW this happened, I am not sure, but that's irrelevant. All I know is that this man is not known for his patience or his tolerance, or his ability to keep his cool. I know he has a great deal of passion when it comes to taking care of his family, and I know right now he sees this as an irresponsible and STUPID step, and is probably cursing my name for putting his daughter in such a bad position. Honestly, though, while she will be taking a $10K a year cut, together our annual income will increase because of my enlistment, my educational opportunities (that I have been struggling with) will improve, and I will finally be able to satisfy my desire to serve.
I don't know what I am looking for with this post. Maybe advice on how to handle it. Maybe input from fathers who have had daughters in similar situations, or husbands who have gone through similar. Maybe all I need is a "go get 'em, Tiger" from my fellow FReepers, whose support and fellowship I have always valued. Maybe I just needed to get this off my chest and am fine with nobody giving a damn.
All I really know is that this is going to be one damn wacky weekend, and if things go south it's going to make basic training seem like a paradise in my mind's eye. Man... I really hate family gatherings.
I am 29. She is 31.
I am hoping this will result in a long term career. I will, however, be holding out for assignment to an MOS that offers training that can be used outside the military as well. Ideally, I will do well enough on the Defense Language Aptitude Battery that I can attend the Defense Language Institute, which will increase my opportunities in both the military and civilian sectors.
My education has always been paramount, though is not a sole motivation for enlistment. It is simply one part of my life plan that I am simply NOT achieving as things stand, and will be able to achieve while fulfilling my desire to serve in the military. Two birds, one high velocity round.
You are a really stupid person or a troll. I am not Jane Fonda but you have a govt unlike anything America ever has. The goal for the islamics is to get as many American troops killed as possible. Would I join when the entire intelligence community has been compromised and is helping the enemy? No. You really have no clue what is going on.
Give the guy a chance is my advice. You might be surprised.
We should just scrap our Military then, huh?
I'll shoot my oldest son an email and tell him to desert.
Bugger off, hosebag.
Thanks for that, and lots of good luck to you!
Who was President when you enlisted?
Trying to get an education while in the military is not very easy. Good luck.
Brilliant. We don't need any Military anyway.
Let's all just bend over and get shagged by the folks that hate us.
Since the Military doesn't meet your standards, what good is it?
Let's just give up. The hell with it all, right?
My husband is MI and I can assure you that the entire intelligence community is not compromised and helping the enemy.
I do get your general point and things have been a bit harder with the new CIC; however, overall, military life is as it's always been.
Right now, I'm thankful that my husband has job security. We have faith in our commanders and they're executing our CIC's ridiculous plans in the best possible way.
I think that part of the reason we're doing well right now is that we're used to being undermined by our press and leftist officeholders. Now that it's the current administration doing the undermining, we're just biding our time. He'll leave and our servicemembers will still be here, doing what they always do - faithfully serving our country.
I pray for your son and all of the troops. But the simple fact is we’re at war with islam while we’re allowing them to join our military. What would have happened during WWII if we’d have allowed Nazis to join? Or the Viet Nam war if we’d allow the Viet Cong to join?
The way it is today if your son suspects a muslim of planning something and reports it it’ll be your son standing before a court martial. Not the muslim.
Tell you son to desert? Never! Tell your son I said “Thank you.” And tell him to be alert.
Here’s my two cents. You can’t please everyone. As long as you and your wife have made this decision as the best one for you and your family, then it shouldn’t really matter what they think. You are the head of your household, not her Father. Although it’s always nice to have the blessing of family, it’s not necessary. You seem like a fine man. I hope this all works out for you. God Bless you.
Welcome to Texas! And thank your husband for me and thank you to you and your kids. You’re serving, too.
I am outside the age requirement for the Air Force. Luckily, I meet the age requirement for the Army, and am interested in that branch anyhow.
My plan is to serve as an enlisted soldier, work towards my degree and once that is finished pursue an opportunity of commission.
HTX, you’re making a good move. Military life is a tought life, but you’ll get much more out of it than you can imagine. Getting an education while in the military is easier than it’s ever been. My husband is currently working for his BA. (He plans on finishing up during his next deployment to Afghanistan.) There are online classes and, in a few years, all that military experience will translate into college credits.
Moving your wife closer to family is a great move. She’s going to need their support over the next few years. For me, the hardest parts were the PCS moves. It was always easier when I was able to go home for a few months with the kids and let my husband close things out in the old place and set things up in the new.
Do you two have children? If not, do you plan to?
Great reply.
Even if it was directed to me.
Now. Take that same approach to the parents (if needed) and you’ll be fine.
And again - congrats on your decision.
Thank you for the support!
My husband insisted that I hang up all of my “certificates of Appreciation” and my “Achievement Medal for Civilian Service” this morning. “You served, too!”
It’s good to see that others understand that families sacrifice as well as the soldiers! lol!
We do not have children. We want children, but our rocky and incredibly unstable financial situation over the past few years has prevented us from trying. We haven’t tried not to, mind you, as we believe that if God wants us to have kids, we’re going to have kids, but we certainly haven’t been attempting it.
I grew up as a foreign service kid, the son of a former Marine who went to work for the civil service. We moved quite a bit, so I know how to handle that. I believe it did me a great deal of good, and I think what children God blesses us with will benefit from my service as much as I will benefit from the opportunity.
The pay cut she will take from leaving her current job and taking the job “down there” will be minimal compared to the benefits of being so close to her sister and extended family. I never anticipated valuing her family quite the way I do, but over the years I have pretty much dropped the “in-law” bit when speaking about them. That is one reason this resonates so strongly with me. Besides, with the whole PCS issue, giving her time to be close to family while I am away at training is a big deal.
We’re going broke trying to get my education finished. We simply cannot afford it as things stand. Even with the financial aid I am eligible for, all the stupid rules and regulations about aid and the ridiculous application of “affirmative action” in education has screwed us and I’m between a rock and a hard place. I see nothing but potential for us with this “new” course.
That doesn’t make it any less frustrating that things spiraled out of control, though.
LOL, I’m going to go ahead and pretend you intended to get that reaction out of me so you could make that very point.
Well played, my FRiend.
LOL, I’m going to go ahead and pretend you intended to get that reaction out of me so you could make that very point.
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Nahhh. Go with your first instincts - that I’m a know-it-all jerk.
:)
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