Posted on 11/19/2010 8:42:20 AM PST by markomalley
Maybe you’ve heard about the touching of the junk? A new Twitter account, @tsagov, (Bio: “We pat your groin. We see you naked. We’re the doormen to the sky. Why? Because everybody is a terrorist.”) launched on — and has already cleared 5,000 followers.
The site, which lists its location as “London/France/Your Underpants” has found the funny in those invasive groin pats:
And kids, it’s not just junk-touching that’s really, really funny when you think about it–those backscatter scanners are a comedy goldmine, as it turns out:
Follow “Agent Smith” here.
- In a testament to our social media prowess, we've installed a TwitPic API on the backscatter scanner #tsa #tsagov
- Have a problem? Put a note in our suggestion box. It's the container marked "trash." #tsa #tsagov
- TSA Alert: Pilot support of full-body scans is strong (using the Bill Clinton standard of "is"). #tsa #tsagov
- Picking-out America Haters on Nation Opt-Out Day will be like picking-out hippies at Burning Man. #tsa #tsagov
- .@elle_dubya Single, eh? Let me put in a good word for Agent George. He still lives with his mom, but he's a sweetheart.
- The TSA has a very firm "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy regarding what goes on in the private screening room. #tsa #tsagov
- The White House asked us to get more physical with our rub-downs in order to spur sales for AMTRAK. #tsa #tsagov
- Unlike the Constitution, the TSA is necessary for the preservation of a free society. #tsa #tsagov
- We're trying to get @Sn00ki to sponsor our hybrid line of full-body scanner/tanning booth. #tsa #tsagov
- Not everybody is perfect. That's why we're here. #tsa #tsagov
- Hey, @Mulshine...how about dropping the "liberty-lover" attitude and showing us a little love in your column? kthnx. #tsa #tsagov
- The words "no," "don't" and "stop" are prohibited...unless whispered to us quickly in that order. #tsa #tsagov
- It's impossible to say how many terror attacks our cold hands have thwarted. But we're guessing around 2 million. #tsa
- When American Idol first came out, we were convinced it was about the TSA. Still not completely cool with it. #tsa #tsagov
- The current threat advisory is "TSA" #tsa #tsagov
- Everyday is spring break at the security gate. #tsa #tsagov
- We're not anti-freedom. We're pro-authority. #tsa #tsagov
- The official TSA term for a employee drunk at work is "enhanced." #tsa #tsagov
- The greatest trick the TSA ever pulled was convincing the world their rights didn't exist. #tsa #tsagov
- The threat of a passenger revolt has forced the TSA into investigating the use of Inception. #tsa #tsagov
- .@cathymccaughan You don't need a TSA uniform to role play. It's all about the unmitigated assertion of power.
- Starting next week, we'll begin our "Take a TSA Agent Home for the Holidays" program. Sign up at the security gate. #tsa
- You could abolish the TSA, but then we'd just get jobs at the IRS. #tsa #tsagov
- We tried playing Barry White over the P.A. system to get people ready for freedom pats. Things just got weird. #tsa #tsagov
- Your "Rights" are an open invitation to terrorism. Our job is to RSVP "no." #tsa #tsagov
- Here's the truth: We don't enjoy patting you down, but it beats urinating on passengers to show our dominance. #tsa #tsagov
- Our favorite celebrity passenger is J-Woww. Before we even begin, the strip search is already halfway complete. #tsa #tsagov
- TSA Advice: The best prevention for crying children on airplanes is contraceptives. #tsa #tsagov
- Pants on the ground isn't just a song. It's an order. #tsa #tsagov
- TSA Update: For this "rumored" revolt on Nov. 24, we are bringing in the tank used at Tiananmen Square. #tsa #tsagov
- In the event of a zombie invasion, the TSA official policy is to sacrifice the women and children first. #tsa #tsagov
- Kanye tried to cancel his pat down. Sorry Kanye, even the voice of this generation gets his. #tsa #tsagov
- .@NielsenDC @AnnCoulter We consider sex noises to be encouragement.
- A staff goal is to have one of our agents written-up in a Penthouse Letter. #tsa #tsagov
- TSA Fact: Our agents can say "strip search" in 42 different languages. #tsa #tsagov
ROFLMAO!
Excellent
And with Agent Smith of Matrix (priceless)
However, on the way back it is open season.
I plan on yelling, loudly, ""That's my penis! You can't touch that!"
Put a blue ribbon on it, and ENCOURAGE them ...
LOL.
Insist that they grope you out by the line of people waiting to go thru security so that you have many many witnesses...
Ah, the resourcefulness of the human mind...finding humor even in the TSA. Very, very funny - thanks for posting!
This administration deserves to become a laughing stock.
I hit refresh...and they now have 6000 followers. LOL!!
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