World Wildlife Fund WWF file format cracked, phones home

The WWF and their new "un-printable" file format, .WWF, turns out to be just a PDF generated with Mac OS Xs built in print to PDF feature, with printing disabled (which can be done without the help of the WWF).

However, the WWF has hidden a little surprise in the software. It phone home to the WWF, without telling you, to check for updates, or so they claim.

Chartreuse Technology

Recently, the WWF (no, not the World Wrestling Federation, but the World Wildlife Fund) announced a new computer document format that is supposedly impossible to print. You can read it, but not print it; sort of like a digital Roach Motel: “Data checks in, but doesn’t check out!” Somehow this is supposed to save the rain forests, as well as the toner shrubs.

While lesser mortals may sniff that a deliberately non-printable file format is a stupid idea, I personally think it’s a brilliant idea, and I suspect it will spark a whole new generation of technology that’s environmentally friendly because it’s been deliberately crippled. You know, while maybe not exactly being “Green”, such technology certainly would be at least “Chartreuse”.

Listed below are a dozen “Chartreuse” technology ideas:

1. A special mail stamp that allows the post office to simply compost the mail rather than actually delivering it, thereby saving huge amounts of transportation energy. (The post office should love this idea since they could sell the special stamps a bit cheaper than regular stamps, yet still make a big profit by not actually delivering the mail. And the regular folks would be happy should they receive less of those pesky bills and junk mail. It’s almost a win-win situation.)

2. A special blend of automotive fuel that when used to fill your car’s gas tank causes the engine not to start. (I’m thinking 100% dihydrogen oxide would work. Automobile pollution would be tremendously reduced, road maintenance costs would go down to almost zero, and fuel companies could slightly reduce prices and yet enormously increase profits at the same time since dihydrogen oxide is so cheap. Again, almost a win-win situation.)

3. A special light bulb that burns out during the first second of usage, thereby saving large amounts of electricity. (Industry will love this one too as people will have to buy lots more light bulbs than they do now.)

4. Special stereo speakers which have their volume limited to zero dB. (These would be cheap to make too, since you could simply spray paint some concrete blocks black and glue on fake terminals for attaching the speaker wires.)

5. A special TV set that produces only a dim, energy-saving picture viewable only in the pitch dark. (Additional energy savings is achieved since you can’t watch the TV with the lights on. Not to mention that the damn light bulbs keep burning out after a second anyway)

6. A special computer that crashes as soon as you power it up, thereby saving large amounts of electricity. (This idea is particularly easy to implement if the computer runs a Microsoft operating system.)

7. A special Internet browser that always shows only your home page, thus discouraging energy-wasting computer usage (assuming your computer doesn’t crash as soon as you boot it anyway). You would, however, be able to personalize your home page from one of a dozen possibilities.

8. Special batteries that are almost pre-dead from the factory, thereby discouraging gratuitous use of the plethora of digital devices that have invaded our lives. (Again, a real money-maker for industry as people would have to buy lots more batteries. Plus, with so many dead batteries to dispose of, the government would finally be forced to establish a proper battery recycling infrastructure.)

9. A light switch that when flipped on always trips the breaker. (Saves energy and provides needed employment for your local electricians. Not to mention, it saves you from having to buy so many of those damn light bulbs that keep burning out after a second.)

10. Special cell phones that always show zero bars, and therefore discourage battery-wasting cell-phone usage. (Wireless companies will also love this one because they’ll save billions from not having to actually build expensive wireless networks. And the visual environment is improved too since unsightly cell towers won’t be gratuitously littering the landscape.)

11. A special blend of fuel for your furnace that contains zero BTUs, and thus tremendously reduces combustion byproducts like CO2. (I’m thinking plain air pumped from the atmosphere into natural gas lines should do the trick. Natural gas companies could cut their rates a tiny bit to keep everyone happy and yet still make hefty profits.)

12. Special airplanes could be built without enough thrust to take off and would therefore have to be towed down the highways, thereby greatly reducing CO2 output. (Granted, it’s a bit slower to travel in towed airplanes than in airplanes that actually fly, but it’s much safer too since you can simply hop out if the engines (or tow truck) fails. Hijackers would be thwarted too, since hijacking towed airplanes would be no more effective than simply hijacking a Trailways bus.)

I could go on for quite a while, but I think you get the idea. Anyone else have any more brilliant environment-preserving “Chartreuse” technology ideas?

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.