Posted on 03/31/2011 4:38:10 AM PDT by AustralianConservative
Here’s some honesty for you: “Children are selfish, self-centred, egotistical little monsters. They are also, and often at the same time, gorgeous, loving, wonderful creatures,” writes Irish columnist, Sinead Ryan.
Nor is corporal punishment evil, or ineffective, she concludes. “Finally, it is its very rarity that makes it work. It shocks a child (and indeed, many a parent), and that is the point.”
Of the don’t-smack-your-darling camp Ryan states: “Smacking has been hijacked by the PC-parenting brigade, who probably frown upon the naughty step, too. They are very possibly the same parents who regularly get notes home from teacher about bad behaviour, but who cannot mete out effective punishment. Hint: that's what they want you to do.”
You see, it’s too easy to sniff at pro-smacking parents, in their working-class suburbs with no time for “I feel…” sentences. It’s too easy to pontificate about the alleged benefits of talk-therapy when you have one child, and a nanny. It’s too easy to lecture working-class families.
The raw truth: Pro-spanking/smacking parents aren’t Nazis, and campaigning elites feel threatened by parents making politically-incorrect choices, with better results. So, how about we put the establishment’s professional do-gooders on trial?
(Excerpt) Read more at weekendlibertarian.blogspot.com ...
I can’t believe any parent doubts the value of corporal punishment. It’s not like you have to use it all the time. Once the credible threat is established, order is secured.
Mark for home.
When Bill Russell was playing ball for the Celtics he was getting beat up pretty bad, but did not want to retaliate. Red Auerbauch took him aside one day and said listen you don't have to do it all the time. If you do it right you will only have to do it once and there will be no doubt ever again.
“I can’t believe any parent doubts the value of corporal punishment. It’s not like you have to use it all the time. Once the credible threat is established, order is secured.”
Once I saw it work on my dog, I knew it would work on my kids (when they were very young, of course). I also knew it would work fine if applied carefully later.
It’s OBVIOUS.
If you have to explain to a Liberal why we spank, just tell them “We believe in Applying the board of Education to their seat of knowledge”.
Just wait until those never-spanked kids grow up and have to deal w/armed police.
No one talks about disarming cops, so I’ve never understood why you’d want to “disarm” parents of the spank.
Remember - you don’t bite the hand that beats you!
Our son is a tad young yet, 5 months, however he will be spanked when the time comes.
Meanwhile we have friends who have older children that are monsters. The parents are beside themselves but refuse to spank.
Timeout is a joke. What do you do if they refuse to sit in timeout? I’ve seen this happen and the parents just shrug their shoulders.
Spanking, if used properly, doesn’t have to be used much at all and it is imperative that parents follow-through with punishment.
In the real world, we sometimes only get one chance to behave.
My basic rules for corporal punishment were/are:
1. Did they do something that might get them badly injured or dead if they were do it again even once?
2. Did they deliberately disobey me or lie to me?
3. Did they deliberately hurt someone?
I used to have to spank very rarely when they were under 8, but I never hesitated to do so.
I think part of being a good parent is being a good actor. Sometimes I'm in a great mood and my youngest will do something both horribly funny and horribly inappropriate, I of course let her know how inappropriate it is and then go somewhere else and laugh. Its like in the movie Patton when the General says, “Its not important that they know when I'm acting, its only important that I know.”
Every so often people will comment that my children are extremely well behaved (which is nice to hear), but sometimes they go on to inquire why they are so well behaved. My favorite and truthful response is that they simply don't realize that they have another option.
We have seen the effect of not spanking in the friends of our family who chose not to. Their children are now entering their teen years and they have battled with disrespect, rudeness, defiance, disobedience. We only spanked for outright defiance. That is the key Direct Defiance.
At 2-3 when asked to do something and they turn and say NO or intentionally ignore you. You do not repeat, or ask again, you get off your but as fast as you can and POW right on the butt. It has to be an immediate response from you. You are associated that state of defiance with pain.
Our children have their own personality, they are now cowering robots, they speak their mind, but do it respectfully. We do not have behavior issues like our friends do with their children. They have been suffering for years, we may have had to spank our kids a total of 8-10 times when little. Now their kids are going into their teen years where they can do real damage to themselves and others. So so sad.
It sounds like you have a good framework for your child raising. See my post #9.
What really saddens me is that so many parents are now drugging their children because they have ADHD, etc...
These are the same parents who did not spank or discipline their children in any way.
A child only knows what they are taught and permitted to do. If having a complete lack of self-control is tolerated then it becomes learned acceptable behavior.
I had one parent send me feel good parenting crap the other day that children don’t need to be controlled. You simply find activities to do together and life will be swell. You share the power, etc... I threw up in my mouth reading it.
There have been many studies that link memory with adrenalin. I always figured if I caused the adrenalin stimulating pain in lieu of some bodily hazard (e.g. hot stove, electricity, traffic, etc.) the lesson would be remembered with no physical harm done.
Not spanking always seemed like the risky option; a lesson not remembered and a parent not immediately available to prevent real bodily harm.
Children need, desire, even crave direction, guidance, limits, expectations, and praise from their parents. All of which must be consistent, fair, and sincere. The protection and foundation that provides them is what allows the children that get it to grow into mentally strong adults.
My children know that I love them and would literally walk through fire for them. It is clear that to get praise from me is their highest reward, because its not idle, empty praise. Conversely, to know that I am truly disappointed with something that they have done is a crushing feeling for them. To me this is perfectly the way it should be and one hell of a tremendous responsibility on me to be consistent and firm.
I agree – just like WWII.
Note taken.
“Remember - you don’t bite the hand that beats you!”
Excellent points – my old dog understood completely.
I witness that all the time - parents who raise Swedish children. They run their house like an Oprah Winfrey show but it always ends up like Jerry Springer.
After being spanked, I stopped throwing lemons at cars with my brother, and lives were probably saved as a consequence. Talk therapy would not have worked.
You sound like a good parent – and many people would agree with you (outside a television studio).
I liked your point about being a good actor too – because when a mother or father treats their child like a friend it makes me cringe.
I often ask: Is she her daughter or her companion sister? Is he his son or his companion brother?
You’re right. Kids need to learn their place on the food chain at an early age. But at the same time, the odd spank doesn’t make them robots, as you say.
I’ve never understood either how some “child experts” cringe at spanking but support partially aborting a baby. They should be interrogated on morning television.
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