Beat me to it also....
George Plimpton.
THE END OF THE AFFAIR - SIDD FINCH
by George Plimpton
Sports Illustrated
April 8, 1985
The curious case of Sidd Finch, as revealed by George Plimpton in last week’s issue, came to resolution Monday in St. Petersburg. The eccentric flame-thrower, whose pitches reportedly had been clocked at 168 mph, kept t his promise to tell the baseball world on April 1 whether he’d join the New York Mets or concentrate on the French horn.
The Mets called a 12:30 p.m. press conference at Al Lang Stadium and formally unveiled Finch to the media. Reading from a statement written in a stilted, anachronistic style (he referred to the Mets as the Metropolitans and to Mel Stottelmyer and Davey Johnson as Melvin and David, respectively), Finch explained that the pinpoint accuracy required to harness his astonishing fastball had deserted him. “The Perfect Pitch,” said the Mystic Met, “once a thing of harmony, is now an instrument of Chaos and Cruelty.”
Finch thanked the team for allowing him to try out, in particular “Melvin” for showing him the slide (a phenomenon, he said, unknown in the Himalayas), and apologized to catcher Ronn Reynolds for brutalizing his glove hand.
He then gave a gallant wave and walked away, very much alone.
Upon further consideration, I've decided (since this is mainly a political forum) that this was one for the ages and was just a tad more hilarious than the Sidd Finch story:
P.S. They got fired for this, but it really put them on the map in the radio business. LMAO.