My wife and I picked up hosting for the family at Thanksgiving and my brother-in-law, who got the smoker after my dad died, smokes the turkey just like my dad did.
Others would bring pies, rolls, salads, etc. It was always a family affair. We would be aghast if a discussion of money to pay for the dinner was ever broached. Not what family dinners are about.
BTW, my folks always had a rule that no discussion at the holiday table was to include politics or religion. Served our family well for years. Avoids all the drama and stress and tension when there are disagreements. The family gathering to give thanks was not the appropriate place for controversy. I don't ever remember a holiday that didn't go smoothly at the table because of this rule. Kept the focus on the "thanks".
My wife and I are retired now and not living close to the family. Just the two of us on our farm. We won't fix a special meal because it's just too much when there is only two people.
But whatever we decide to fix for the meal, we will pay for it ourselves. Leave it to the "progressives" to want someone else to pay for their pleasures.
Sounds like you guys had some great Thanksgiving gatherings. Ours is bittersweet this year as we suffered a family loss the day before the World Series started. My stepdaughter’s husband died suddenly of a cerebral hemorrhage. He was a big eater, and we’d always plan to have plenty of turkey on hand (a 20+ pounder) to accommodate him and everyone else. This year, my wife told me to get nothing bigger than an 18-pounder. We’ll miss having to have the extra bit of turkey for him.