Hilarious!
Grow your own.
I suffer from what I call Green’s disease. So I never eat greens out. What I do is I will buy fresh produce and I will wash the hell out of it and I will blanch it if I’m going to eat it “Raw” but eating raw vegetables has even been a risk, so I steam them and there are some waterless cookware options that require very little water take the vegetable product in the pan up to bacteria killing temperatures and then is taken off the burner and the valves are closed and it Cooks the vegetables without losing too many vitamins.
If I don’t do that, more often than not I really can’t leave the house until the trots subside, and that’s why I call it greens disease. I think it’s from coliforms or E-coli in the products that are being purchased off the shelf at grocery stores. The pickers and the farmers are using fecal matter or they “crap in the fields and are wiping their butts with the cilantro.” That’s what I think is going on, and we the consumer really have to be vigilant about cleaning vegetable products that are obtained fresh from any grocer anywhere in this country.
When I was younger (living in Thailand) mom used to soak the vegetables she purchased in a chlorinated water solution because the use of fecal matter for fertilizer was common, and the only way that you could safely eat the products is to use a chlorinated solution of water and soak them and be very concerned about sterilizing those vegetables before cooking and cooking them thoroughly.