This writing is so painfully bad.
Deal with it. Not everyone excels in the literary art of writing such as you.........
Most of us here stand in awe of your writing abilities so don't disappoint us by being a dick in your criticism of someone not endowed with your writing prowess......
As a post script, a while back didn't you post a link to purchase a novel you had written? Or was that a writing class you were offering? I forget................