I have a great-great-great Uncle by the name of Jefferson Davis Scott, born near Joplin Missouri in 1861. His older sister, my great-great Grandmother, was a very bitter woman according to family lore (she has three surviving grandchildren that I am aware of, but may have others from other branches of the family).
After reading what went on in that area, and imaging what she must have gone through as a girl with a family whose colours were there front and centre for all in that region to see, I can understand why. I don’t think I’m any more for the Confederacy on an emotional level than, say, Harry Truman’s mom, and possibly less. There are a number of different ways of engaging it on the intellectual level.