Posted on 03/03/2020 8:14:29 AM PST by C19fan
My wife now works and I'm retired. We split the bills and the leftover is our own (mine is mine and hers is hers). As long as the bills get paid, no harm no foul...
Marriage should be a 10-year renewable contract. Takes both parties to renew. In this model, all earned funds are kept as separate property. That’ll shut her up!
Yep...what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too.
We have been married for 42 years. I have always “provided” for the family.
That freed my wife to quit her teaching job to raise the kids. After the kids got to high school, my wife chose to start a preschool at our church which she ran for 17 years. She had no reason to worry about the salary involved, but it was adequate, and she chose to sequester part of the funds in a special account.
After the preschool closed, we had an opportunity to purchase a 2000 sq. ft. “cabin” in the woods. Having a place to go to in the forest was always a dream of my wife which I thought sounded like a good idea. So we drained the special account and bought the place. It is marvelous! We are going there on Wednesday for a long weekend.
So, by me providing, my wife was able to follow her dreams both with the preschool and now with the cabin. It has been a good life.
Hooray for convenient feminism.
It is not nice to fool Mother Nature.
Vitually all women want a man to provide for them. It is just wired into our long-time DNA. That doesn’t mean it is always realistic. Plenty of women want to be able to provide for themselves so they have some security and a strong hedge against not being able to find a provider, or having a provider leave. But the natural course is for women to want a provider who brings in superior income or has superior wealth. It is like most men want a beautiful woman. it is just wired into our DNA.
“Another approach is to regard 100% of the money as ‘ours’. Then it does not matter whose account it comes from.”
Tried that... with the first wife. Ground rules are different this time around.
+1
Well, I find it unattractive for a women to pursue a career over child rearing, and to have had multiple abortions.
Or maybe most of the 37% actually earn more than their significant other and don’t want to support him. Which means that nearly 100% of women do not want to support a man and nearly 2/3’s of women want to be supported by a man.
Either way, men cannot win and should surrender peacefully.
“A man who provides means you can work if you want to but don’t have to, he knows how to hold it down.’”
That’s my man.
OTOH, I could have (if I didn’t quit to have our son - STEM types hate gaps on resumes).
But I like being able to essentially control the “son” sphere - handling his every-day issues, school, etc - without worrying about bringing home the bacon to help do it. I have had a nice part-time college job for 5 years now that works my mind and puts some cash in my pocket without dipping into the budget account. And allows me to be with our son in summer, etc.
Definitely don’t want a loser who won’t do anything. I’d think that’d apply to me as well (if I was a lazy non-worker when he met me).
It would only be fair that income from the investments would be considered her income, and she could pay a share of your mutual expenses in relation to that. What you really need is a professional actuary/financial planner who can propose a couple of approaches -- and take the blame!
But don’t make it sound that’s simply what they want. The reason WHY they want it is so THEY can concentrate on the “HOME” stuff. Because women actually are the people who CARRY the baby and directly nurture it, as baby naturally has a strong tie to the body that bore it - not the 5-min donor (sorry, it’s true).
The living I earn means my wife doesn’t need a ‘paid job’. She does however provide the most caring and effective (free) day care for our grand kids. This enables my son and his wife to get their ‘young professional experience’ without the cost day care and without the fear of the nightmares you hear about.
I can see the difference too - they’re all just doing amazing. The grand kids are knowledgeable, confident, funny, and generally respectful.
Women may not ‘need’ a man to provide but they certainly don’t want anything to do with one that can’t. It’s comforting to them, the knowledge that if things go wrong for them that he’ll be able to take the slack.
Real men just don’t have such sentiments, femininity is attractive, we want a woman to have our back, that is all.
That's what I was going to say. When we got married, everything that was mine became ours, and everything that was hers became ours.
ha! my husband has always preferred a stay at home wife, and he’s got one. So he has to provide, cause i cannot do it.
I’ve worked partime, fulltime, and what i do around here is always the hardest work. and it has always been my responsibility, no matter what my “outside” job was.
Guys still have that duty. Even though men are bypassed for jobs and college admissions solely because of their sex.
Sexier? Really? Such bunk.
You two are a family and family supports family. Period. The end.
4L8R
My wife will enjoy this thread
“I would say there’s a distinctive difference between expecting you support her, and she being appreciative of your support and doing everything she can to contribute to the overall household as well. You’re a team with different strengths in different areas. Act like it, embrace it, respect it.”
Exactly!!!!
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