Since you have "Decolonized" your STEM programs and are, by way of lenient grading, allowing substandard students to graduate with higerh marks than they deserve, we will no longer be accepting applications for employment or internships from your University.
Love,
Jet Propulsion Laboratories, N.A.S.A., and any other sensible employer of STEM graduates!
It seems so...oppressive to make them them actually attend school. Just mail out diplomas.