In a surprise verdict in Kannapolis, N.C., in the case of J. F. Kerry vs. the United States, a jury decided that the plaintiff was a victim of PTVSS or Post-Traumatic-Vietnam-Stress-Syndrome, and that, as both compensation and the first steps in his treatment, he is to be appointed President of the United States for a period of not less than 8 years – to end when a specially appointed team of psychiatrists agree that he is again sane.
This decision will cancel the much-anticipated 2004 and 2008 Presidential elections. In a related decision, the jury also awarded President-elect Kerry $10,000,000 for a stubborn fungus infection contracted in Cambodia on or about Christmas 1968.
Kerry’s lawyer requested and was awarded a special fee of $100,000,000 for his brilliant work on this case. When asked how he could justify such a fee for less than one month’s work, his lawyer and now Vice-President-elect, John Edwards, replied that it was a pittance compared to the cost of a 2008 Presidential election – which he had just saved the country.
President for 8 years? He could always be given this guys position.
http://www.notfrisco.com/nortoniana/