Posted on 08/15/2008 8:58:43 PM PDT by BreezyDog
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States.
Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Now, send this to whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what?....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or be very scared.
Those are really good. :)
Well done, BD.
My, my, my.
Nostradamus ain’t got nothin’ on you. This is, in fact both funny and scary. What’s amazing is if todays’ headlines were posted 30 years ago, they would have seemed just as absurd and scary.
But now we’re livin’ it. Good work and fine piece of prognostication (which is illegal in 32 states if it includes a minor)
Rosie O'Donell out as CBS Evening News anchorperson..fired during first commercial break
THIS JUST IN: So-called U.S. Constitution discovered among old papers in basement of National Archives...said to have assumed the sovereignty of tiny political units known as “states”
Ten years after omnibus ban on firearms, the growing incidence of slingshot-related deaths trouble inner-city officials
Nuevo York Museum of Post-post-modern Art features exhibit by “Doug Jackass”, progenitor of the “Screw You” movement, titled, “Three Tissues Thrown on the Floor by a Child”
Senator Barack Obama announces seventh run for White House in 2032
New volcano taming technology set for trial on the Yellowstone dormant volcano. Anti-science protestors claim it will set off a super volcano.
The sinkhole where Geneva Switzerland once was is growing an an alarming rate now.
In other news, a vast sinkhole is forming in the Pacific Ocean off the coast of Northern Japan. Scientists stumped.
FR’s Lazamataz Still Banned
The French ‘Free Laz’ movement is sending their first wave of missionaries to the US. Their refurbished U.S. Destroyer is expected to dock in SanDiego on Sunday.
2029
First Ecumenical Council of St. Louis begins.
Rumors Spread of Pogram Massacres in Islamist Occupied Europe.
America and Europe-in-exile near completion of pure fusion weapon.
Well done!
I can’t take credit for it. I just posted it. My Dad sent it to me in an email as stated in the by-line.
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. ;-)
Here’s another....
The completition of the ‘Victory Tower’, meant to replace the World Trade Center, has been pushed back to 2050.
Placemark
Iran will be a major world power in 2029. I don’t see the will to stop them until Europe consolidates under stronger leadership willing to fight.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.