ground zero

[shaun=z=]

ground zero

i seem to remember a sunroof sky full of kanji and silk wisteria dancing across the wind my daughter laughing in that so saturated face as friend and i sit down to our morning game i swore i would take advantage of his saki rejuvenation

i seem to remember the taste of my wife's lips so sweet a touch of harmony quickly replaced by the happy wet kiss of my child giggling so to almost annoy this fierce competition

my new pocket watch stating with such fine western precision you have time to champion it's only 8:13

i seem to remember wind chimes singing to laughter and graceful chatter rising so near to cacophony in anticipation of movement

a whirl and rash of mans humanity

i seem to remember a distant sound of wings floating across an eastern sky and eyes squinting to see

to my child suddenly turning white

the brightest white the hottest white the darkest white

i shall never see

i can't seem to remember where i left my soul

i think it's where my shadow left a halo burned into the ground

=z=

[Viking2002]

Um............OK. Welcome to FR. I think. Or not. Maybe.

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away, for his name is Obama."

[2ndDivisionVet]

[shibumi]

a whiff of ozone and the sound of kitty lightening

i seem to remember a distant sound of purring floating across an eastern sky and eyes squinting to see

to my post suddenly turning zot

the brightest zot the hottest zot the darkest zot

i shall never see

i can’t seem to remember where i left my zot

i think it’s where my poempost left a zot burned into the ground

[skr]

A little punctuation to give it rhythm would enhance your poetic imagery. Not a poetry expert, though, so JMHO. Last line is haunting.

Welcome to FR.

[deks]

The poem, and a critique of it, can be found here...

https://www.winningwriters.com/resources/critiques/2006/urc_0608hull.php

[deks]

The shape of the poem’s text (at the link in comment #6) seems to resemble a tall mushroom cloud...no?

[don-o]

Impressed. How did you know that?

[don-o]

Are you the poet?

Helpful tip: We encourage newbies who post what we call “vanities” to enter into dialogue.

Please reply soon.

[Thunder90]

Huh? Respond? Or, do you like kitties, lightning, and nukes?

[MtnMan101]

[StonyBurk]

awesome art-many t’anks—there is a sadness beneath the hope
a raw, seeping sore perhaps caused by a loss of virginity?

[50mm]

LOL!

[Allegra]

I like brown sugar-cinnamon Pop Tarts when they’ve been in the toaster and the corners are slightly burnt.

[50mm]

Yamamoto was right: "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve."

Kitties: see post 6 for info and then blast shaun=z=.

To be added or removed from the VK list, FReepmail Darkwing104.

[snippy_about_it]

Thanks for the post, the link and the observation that at the link it is written down to appear as a mushroom cloud.

Very nice poetry, very moving and sad.

[Condor51]

I luv the smell of gunfire in the morning.

It smells like ... Zot!

[Arrowhead1952]

Hey n00bie, normally DU trolls use the

CAPS ON OPTION WHEN POSTING THEIR TRASH HERE.

Get lost and I feel a ZOT in your short stay.

[Arrowhead1952]

[1rudeboy]

Thanks, I’ll read the critique later. I read this expecting the worst, and found it to be quite good in spots.