At 10 years old, I told my parents my uncle was molesting me.
For the sake of ‘family harmony’, they did -nothing-.
It went on for 5 years until I got my first Dobermann, who had utterly no sense of humor about people touching his “mom”.
[and who also wasn’t like the Poodle that was constantly being threatened with death if I “told”. I think the Dobe would’ve enjoyed the ‘sport’ of the uncle trying to “kill him”]
To this day, they treat me like the family freak....even after my “wild stories” were proven true when he started on my little cousin, too.
Same deal.
Her mom entered The Vow of Silence Pact willingly to “spare” my aunt the shock of finding out her husband was a pedophile.
[don’t *even* ask how that was doing her any favors]
For decades, I’ve sat every Thanksgiving and Christmas here at home while they went to his house and partied it up with the rest of my large, extended family.
They go on vacations with him.
He helps my dad out up at the cabin all the time.
No matter how far away I stay from him, somebody’s always shoving him in my face, anyway.
The lessons I learned at such a young age were anxiety, insecurity and the horrible truth that no one I “trusted” was going to protect me.
[and don’t *ever* tell a truth nobody wants to hear]
Those aren’t exactly lessons that are very useful in life unless you’re aiming to be a nervous wreck.
As far as I can tell, the only reason I’m here is to [hopefully] help others who’ve had the same life have someone to confide in or cry with.
I reckon that’s something.
“It is in the broken places that we are strong.”
I’ll try to remember that.
Thanks much.
I don’t say it nearly often enough, but you FReepers have no idea how many times you’ve pulled me up from the depths of despair.
With all my $64 words, none are remotely adequate to express my gratitude for that.
“$64 words”
Sally, I’m going to have to think a bit on what you’ve written. I see you as a scout, and scouts know things about the surrounding territory.
However, let me try to make you smile a little. Your $64 words will be worth a whole lot more with hyperinflation. In any language.
Wow. That story sounds almost identical to that of someone very close to me. Her monster, thankfully, died young, but not before he harmed several young girls in her family. Although his crimes were exposed, he was never shunned or punished. God bless you. You are not alone and, perhaps more importantly, you are not doing wrong by your refusal to be around him. Merry Christmas.
Same thing happened to a friend of mine. Her molester was a family friend and too important to her mother’s cocktail-party social network to be charged or even shunned. He remained a frequent, welcome guest in their home... . Just awful. She only told me about it after her mother died and I regret not having the chance to have a few words with her.
A mother who looks away is as much a monster as the one who hurts a child.
I wish you joy today and that, one day, you can kill that “clown” and sleep in peace
Damn it! I wish I was still living in Greenville, DE. I would drive down just to give you hug and let you know you are loved unconditionally.
I never met you but I love you as a sister.
Merry Christmas!
I heard of a case where a woman, abused by her own father when she was a child, went public with her story. Although the criminal statute of limitations had passed, she filed a civil suit and won. She got his house and all his possessions. Inadequate compensation for what she must have gone through, but it would not have happened a generation ago.
Even though there is evil in the world, even though injustice pervails for awhile, even though people might fail you, there is still a God who loves you.
You are a beautiful person. To beautiful to have been attacked and tricked and unheard. I am so very sorry for your past. And I pray for a very happy future for you, surrounded by GOOD people.
Since he was family and out of respect we Texans would have hung him on his own property.
We would even back-hoe a ditch for him.
God Bless you Sal. Am proud to be your FRiend.
I wish that were true, Sal. "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I'm told, and told again.
Clichés, received wisdom, bromides. And I've seen, time and time again,in myself, in others, the fragility of human hearts, only realizing when the disaster hit me, how weak I am in the end, and not growing any stronger.