Posted on 06/03/2011 7:46:21 AM PDT by winodog
A 21 year old girl whom I have not heard from for 18 years contacted me on the internet. It is a long story and I will try to make it short. I was in love with her mom and was there when she was born therefore she has or had my last name. When she was three her mom married the real father and I was left heartbroken, although it is nothing compared to what this poor little angel was forced to endure.
We have exchanged a few emails and I know very little about her other then she is gorgeous : ), she just turned 21, she just graduated from beauty school and she is able to communicate online very well without the usual things you see from young people. However she was super smart right off the bat.
My question is, what sort of skills should I help her to pursue. I am leary of advising her to get more schooling. let alone pay for it, : )
Are you absolutely 100% sure she isn’t yours? If so, you never really said why she called and what she wants. Perhaps, she just wants a father-daughter relationship that she didn’t have with the supposed Dad. I do find it a bit odd that after 18 years and NO CONTACT that she tracks you down. We’re going to need a little bit more info on this one...
If she has graduated from cosmetology school, you should encourage her to get a job in beauty salon. Once she’s got a position, you could make an appointment with her to get your hair and nails done.
Coast Guard. Lots of opportunities there, and a great place to learn about life, while helping others.
If she just graduated I would help her find a job where
she can get some experience. I am sure that eventually
she’ll want her own salon but for now it’s best to continue
learn her trade, not only customer service but the business
end too.
You could take Weiner’s advice...
I beat that title gets some attention!!
I am leaning to advising her to start a business and get some good experience. Something small like washing windows or clean up or helping older people in the community,learn to bid jobs. She could even learn to paint and learn to sell herself and convince people that they should hire her for the job.
Of course there is a lot of people with the same ideas.
Ok that’s funny.
Give her my phone number and keep her away from Laz...
If she just graduated, she is going to need to get the experience from real life in a job. Coloring, highlighting, cutting, perming etc... This can take quite a few years and the first year will be depending on getting her customers to request her. Any malls in your area with salons like Penney’s or even a Hair Cuttery.
What does she want from you? Don’t let her break your heart like her mom did.
If you are paying for the education of your own kids, do not take any money from their futures for this stranger. Do not use nostalgia or her beauty to fool your brain.
Only if you have money to spare that none of your own kids need should you help her. You are not her father, you don’t owe her anything. If you have extra money that your family doesn’t need, ask her what she wishes, and then if it sounds wise, rather than hand her cash, offer to pay the tuition or rent on her salon or something. You have no reason to trust her.
Is she a surrogate on behalf of the mom to re-establish contact for the mom?
Take it slowly, she may be entirely on the up and up and wanting what she lacked during her childhoot. But going slowly the truth will come out.
Don’t get your heartbroken a second time.
Good luck to both.
Sorry, I can’t get past the fact that you refer to her twice as “gorgeous”.
You last saw her when she was 3? And no contact since then?
It wasn’t meant to be funny, except the part about the nails. My hairdresser cut my 17-year-old son’s hair; we call him “Young Beau” ;-).
Since the young lady has beautician training, getting a job in that field seems like an obvious choice. Chains like Top Cuts and Great Clips are always looking for stylists, and they provide them with extra training.
100% sure and she may just be contacting me in the hopes that she can get some money off me. Thats ok. I am not a fool and would never let it get out of hand. But I never cared when I found out she was not “mine”. I loved her all the more in that I was going to take care of her no matter who was the father. She is my angel in many ways.
For some reason, this thread is giving me the same feeling I get whenever I receive one of those Nigerian emails asking for my social security number.
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