No, I am not joking. Oh, the humanity.
[I’ll still be on, just not as frequently since I’ll have to post from home. I shouldn’t jones too much OHMYG-DOHMYG-DYOUGOTTAGIVEMESOMETHINGANYTHINGHELPHELPARGHARGHARGH no really, I’ll be fine.]
If I were you, I’d take up drinking at this point. That will get you through the tough spots until Tuesday, I hope.
In future, always keep a spare Kindle, iPhone, or some other mobile-Internet-capable device.