In my youth, I was highly intoxicated around bottle rockets and other fireworks. Thankfully, I never got the bright idea to put any in my rectum, although we used to shoot them directly at each other.
We did that sober, each was allowed a metal trash can lid to use a shield.
Glass coke bottle with several rockets in one hand, trash lid in the other and a lit punk in our teeth.
Sometimes the rocket going off would light off some others. You learned the hard way to wait to see if you were shooting one or more before pulling back the bottle to put near your face with the lit punk in your teeth.
But usually, if the burns are not too bad, eyebrows grow back.
Parents today would be shocked to learn we lived if they knew everything we did as young teenagers.
Done that.
Caught one inside the collar of my jacket at the base of my neck.
Was several days before the ear on that side returned to full functionality.
I've been drunk enough to literally pass-out in the gutter.
But I've never been "that drunk".
Every 4th of July we'd have massive neighborhood-wide "bottle rocket wars" at a nearby park, completely sober.
Mark
“In my youth, I was highly intoxicated around bottle rockets and other fireworks. Thankfully, I never got the bright idea to put any in my rectum, although we used to shoot them directly at each other.”
-—<>-—<>-—<>-—<>-—<>-—
LOL -—
Intoxicated - check
fireworks - check
“to the porcelain god” - check
rectum ??? hhmmmm ... thankfully no, but I could see it occuring to some I associated with, if not occurring to my self.
“T!ts up drunk” - yup, but mine aren’t nearly what yours are!
Can’t say I was any “smarter” than any of these principals, for sure ...
I think the closest I came to that was super-gluing fingers around a tree...
So tame.