Is it Satan? Hmmmmmm?
Well, isn't that special....
Posted on 05/17/2013 5:43:53 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
The quote from the old SNL epissode where Linda Blair was the guest star, they were doing an “Exorcist” skit:
“Your mother sews socks that smell!!!!”
I love old classic movies, and quote from them often.
But I’ll not think about that today. I’ll think about that tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.
Fiddle-dee-dee.
And frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Vincent Fournier.....one of my favorite musicians!!!
These words he speaks are true
We’re all humanary stew if
We don’t pledge allegiance to
The Black Widow
The horror that he brings
The horror of his sting
The unholiest of kings
The Black Widow
Our minds will be his toy
And every girl and boy will learn to be employed by
The Black Widow
Upon arrival at this oasis of silliness and laughter I kissed my computer screen.
Thank you all. :-)
fredhead, I have a water-skiing story.
I was raised very “country”, for which I am grateful.
When my two younger brothers and I were young our dad took us skiing in the Trinity River.
They had their turns and I was in the water and my dad was waiting for a couple in a boat to pass before taking off.
As they passed us the man yelled, “Just thought you’d want to know that we just saw an alligator in the river back there,” motioning behind them.
My dad had to go forward in order to circle to get me out of the water.
As the boat pulled away, my two little stinker brothers found it funny to laugh and wave “Bye!” to me from the back of the boat.
Oh the times we had with the boat. We used to go camping at Cape Lookout during the good fishing season. Once Dad launched the boat filled with camping gear (for 2 families) and Mom saw water rising in it. He forgot to put the plug in.
Another time years later, 5 and a half of us, Mom, Dad, my uncle and pregnant aunt and I were again at Cape Lookout, this time clamming. I was about 14 at the time. So we are leaving with all the people and two washtubs full of clams on board. Now there was a natural channel that skirted the island that had to be taken to get to the marked channel. About halfway down dad told me to cut across the shoal, that we should be OK as long as we kept the boat up on plane. I disagreed with him and said so, but he was the Captain. And we were OK until.......
The motor hit bottom, kicked out of the water and the boat settled on the bottom. About the time we got everyone (including the clams) out of the boat and were trying to figure out how to get it back in deep enough water, the Coast Guard shows up and helps push the boat.
Dad never doubted my navigational skills again.
Lol! The funny dad stories are some of my favorites!
One we had a slip ‘n slide and my dad decided to join us and show off.
Smoking at the time, he bragged that he could slide all the way to the end and not even get his cigarette wet.
We stood back, skeptical.
He ran, slid, and stopped, as he had predicted, at the end of the plastic.
For several seconds he didn’t move, then, slowly, he showed signs of painful life.
Once we saw that he was okay, we tried really hard not to laugh, but then when we saw the soaked, destroyed thing which had been his lit cigarette, our self-control abandoned us.
It took a while for him to recover from cracked ribs.
The truck's gas gauge didn't work. One Sunday afternoon, returning from the beach, we ran out of gas halfway between the causeway and the draw on the Morehead City/Atlantic Beach 2 lane bridge. While Dad walked to the nearest gas station for gas and Mom directed traffic, my 14 year old sister and her friend hid under a beach blanket, not wanting to be seen by any of their friends.
Funny thing was there wasn't another truck in the county that looked like ours. Anybody who knew us knew that truck.
On Feb 29, 2012 Davy Jones,
lead singer for the 60’s pop group the Monkeys passed away.
The following morning headlines in the Washington Post
read LEAD MONKEY DEAD.
It took the secret service several hours to get Joe Biden
to calm down and stop running around the white house yelling,
I’m the President! I’m the President!
That’s funny!
When we were kids our grandparents had a camphouse in the East Texas Piney Woods.
A man up there had Brahman cattle and they never stayed on his property.
One day a bunch of us kids - elementary and junior high ages - were riding our bikes and as we passed through a herd of twenty or so which had been grazing on either side of the road, the cattle began to run from us, heading toward our camphouse.
We decided that it would be cool to continue to “herd” what had become a stampede past the camphouse for our parents to see.
We were in the midst of this thing - I had my little cousin on my handlebars! - because some cattle were running on the road in front of us and some were following them, running along side of us on our bikes.
Our plan didn’t work because the stampede veered off the road and onto the owner’s property as we passed his gate.
Lol!
Verrry special!!!
I checked this out & this is a HOAX! Never happened. Interesting story tho....
Bank robber
A hooded robber burst into a Minnesota bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.
On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moments hesitation.
He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.
Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.
The robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?”
There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly to afraid to speak.
Then, one old Norwegian named Ole tentatively raised his hand without looking up said,
“My wife got a pretty good look at ya.”
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux Magic
Thibodeaux and Boudreaux entered a chocolate store. As they were looking at the candy, Thibodeaux stole 3 chocolate bars. When they left the store Thibodeaux said to Boudreaux, “I’m the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me put them in my pocket. You can’t beat that.
Boudreaux replied: “You want to see something better? Let’s go back to the shop and I’ll show you real stealing. I’ll steal while the shopkeeper is watching me and he won’t even know.”
So they went to the counter and Boudreaux said to the shopkeeper: “Do you want to see a great magic trick?” The shopkeeper replied: “Yes”
Boudreaux said: “Give me three chocolate bars.”
The shopkeeper gave him three chocolate bars and Boudreaux ate all three. The shopkeeper asked: “But where’s the magic?”
Boudreaux replied: “Look in Thibodeaux’s pocket.”
Men Will Be Teaching Classes for Women at
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By July 27th, 2013
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM .
Class 1
Up in Winter, Down in Summer - How to Adjust a Thermostat
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hrs. beginning at 7:00 PM..
Class 2
Which Takes More Energy - Putting the Toilet Seat Down, or Bitching About It for 3 Hours?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Drive Past a Wal-Mart Without Stopping?—Group Debate.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between a Purse and a Suitcase— Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Curling Irons—Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Bathroom Cabinet?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
At 7:00 PM
Class 6
How to Ask Questions During Commercials and Be Quiet During the Program
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Can a Bath Be Taken Without 14 Different Kinds of Soaps and Shampoos?
Open Forum ..
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch—They Make Medicine for PMS - USE IT!
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
I Was Wrong and He Was Right!—Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
How to Parallel Park In Less Than 20 Minutes Without an Insurance Claim.
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live—How to Apply Brakes Without Throwing Passengers Through the Windshield.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to Shop by Yourself.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
...............................................................................................
From The Guys in the Witness Protection Program
I loved your delusion-land post. Because while I was reading it, for just a brief moment, it was so nice.
What’s really and truly sad though, is that your delusion will in all likelihood- never become reality.
Welcome to the silly, pax
Thanks!
There’s no place I’d rather be!
:-)
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