Dave Says World Needs Stay at Home Moms

Townhall.com ^ | June 5, 2013 | Dave Ramsey

[CSM]

Dave Ramsey ping

[CodeToad]

I hate the term “stay at home moms”. It suggests work away from home moms are different. It also suggests stay at home moms are not working moms. I think being a mother is the hardest job there is and it takes full time work to do it right. Read between those lines and you have me saying working mothers don’t do it right, and that is what I am saying. Latchkey kids are a problem and we’ve raised several generations of disconnected adults.

[yorkiemom]

I think far too many ladies, in the name of paying for stuff they don’t need, have left the household and the children for the workplace. Many of them didn’t even want to do this; they just felt obligated to do it by people like you. There are a lot of ladies who have sacrificed their ability to be full-time moms on the altar of the car payment.

Now, sometimes ladies have to go to work. There’s a time and a place for that kind of thing. But if there’s any way I can financially and budget-wise figure out how mom can be waiting at home with a big hug and a plate full of cookies when that fifth grader walks in the house – and if that’s what she wants to do – then you’re going to find me fighting for her opportunity to do that. There’s no higher calling on the planet than motherhood. We’ve lost that in our culture, and we’re suffering dearly for it.

Dave Ramsey summed this up beautifully. I think the biggest problem with our culture is the lack of stay-at-home moms. When both parents work, schools (and liberal teachers) become the primary influence of the kids. They learn all sorts of wonderful things there, like an entitlement attitude, liberalism, sex education, etc. A stay-at-home homeschooling mom is by far superior. It takes a strong mom do buck societal judgments and do this.

[CSM]

I wholeheartedly agree with you. Good post.

[yorkiemom]

I agree with all you say - except I like the term ‘stay at home mom’. What else would you suggest? “Work at home moms” would be confused with someone having a paying job at home. We used to say ‘housewife’ in the old days - but that implies being married to the house and says nothing about raising children.

[Nea Wood]

I’ve seen comments on this site that stay-at-home-wives are “leeches.” I love Dave’s suggestion that guys with that attitude should try doing the job of a wife and mother for one week.

Young girls nowadays are often afraid to tell the guys they date that they want to be stay-at-home wives and mothers, just because of attitudes like that.

[CodeToad]

“We used to say ‘housewife’ in the old days - but that implies being married to the house and says nothing about raising children.”

I always thought the term never needed mention of children anyway. Even a wife without kids is a full time job. We both work and it takes half our time each to keep the house going. We all knew what ‘housewife’ meant.

[CodeToad]

“I’ve seen comments on this site that stay-at-home-wives are “leeches.” “

The problem is that many girls I met in my early 20’s were leeches. They wanted to have kids to avoid working. I did meet several women that had college degrees and were professionals that said they would love to have kids and stay at home and maybe work part time from time to time. Those women were attractive to me and to all men. I knew one woman tat never worked but had kids and knew the value of being a housewife. She, too, was attractive in that regard. The problem is many girls come across as lazy and men know if they have kids the house would be a mess and the kids unruly.

[Bigg Red]

How about “full-time mother”? “Homemaker”?

[yorkiemom]

I guess a PC term was ‘required’, in this day and age. Many young mothers now think they need to justify staying home, so they include being a mom in the title.

I stay home. And my son left home 4 years ago. I don’t call myself anything. All I tell people is that I don’t work (when they ask) because taxes are too high on a second income. If you can figure out a short term to explain that, I’ll be using it!

[yorkiemom]

“Homemaker” used to be a term that was used about the time of ‘housewife’. At least, I think so.

“Full-time mother” is good - and will get the feminazis up in arms because they tout that one can give 100% of their time to mothers AND 100% of their time to a job. I think they must’ve failed math....

[yorkiemom]

The problem is many girls come across as lazy and men know if they have kids the house would be a mess and the kids unruly.

I feel for young men these days. They just don't know what they will get in a woman when it comes to family values and appreciating a good man.

Your wife is lucky also, that you recognize that it takes time and effort to run a house. A lot of men just expect the wife to do it all and work full-time. This week alone, I've spent 3 hours on the phone with insurance companies and making appointments. That's not to say I couldn't work part-time and still do all that. I'm not a spotless housekeeper ;) But taxes - there's the rub. I don't believe too many people realize what tax bracket they are in or how much the second income, or even a raise or bonus, is taxed.

And then there's the issue of Social Security...I digress, but if my husband works another 19 years until he's 67 and pays in at the max as he's done for years now - he'll pay in $167,000 (in 2013 dollars). However, he will only get an increase in SS of about $3K a year, or ~$50K if he lives until he's 83, the average life expectancy for men his age. If he lives until 90, he only gets back $70,000 so even that won't make it worth it. I know I am digressing, but I try to get the information out on how the government is screwing people over - and most don't even know it.

[FamiliarFace]

I’ve used both of those, as well as stay at home mom to describe myself. I didn’t go back to work until the last one graduated from high school. I wouldn’t have changed anything for the world! My husband and kids have been my greatest blessing, and even though there were LOTS of times that the going was tough, we pulled together and made it work. I have no regrets about my time as a homemaker. I put up with lots of insults and looks from others, but in my heart, I knew they were all wrong about the job I was doing. There is no higher calling in my book!

[CodeToad]

A ‘retired successful mother’?

[yldstrk]

Why thank you, God bless you too

[yorkiemom]

I’ll take that one!

[handmade]

We didn’t have a lot of the things our friends had, but we had a good life with each other and our kids

And what can possibly be more important.

[handmade]

I wish I would figured this out about 15 years ago.

But the point is, you did figure it out. Families, relatives in general, and any one else are not the ones to dictate what you should do. It is your family, your life, and your choices. Good for you for sticking it out.

[Venturer]

This thing with both people working started after WW2 whn women went to work and found they liked it better than staying home and it gave them more money.
Todays fiscal plan makes it difficult to live on one salary, the homes are expensive, and everybody wants a mansion instead of a small home that’s paid for.

I don’t have a mansion, but it’s paid for.

[handmade]

I don’t have a mansion, but it’s paid for.

Yes you do have a mansion. Being paid for gives you a great sense of freedom, you can spend your money how you want or need. Home is entirely what a person makes of it. Things like contentment, security, that is where it is.