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Let me start this off by saying I have been a Windows guy since Windows 3.0. Back in the days of 5 1/4" floppy disks and Intel 386 chips.

I happen to believe that Windows XP was the best damned OS that Microsoft ever made. Windows 7 is OK too, just bloated like the Goodyear blimp.

With all that in mind, let's dive in here...

Among the changes rumoured to be part of the new release is the return of the Start menu, which was controversially left out of Windows 8 - a move that proved unpopular with customers.

Hey Redmond morons, it's not just the Start button and menu that we miss. We hate, hate, HATE the Metro interface. It's not sexy. It's not innovative (the Unity GUI on Linux is where you stole the idea from, you imbeciles, and guess what - IT SUCKED TOO). It's stupid, because you had idiots design it and/or idiots in charge of artsy/fartsy dolts who designed it.

Bring back the Windows 7 interface. Hell, bring back the XP interface. THERE. WAS. NOTHING. WRONG. WITH. IT.

You sonsab****es should have to be on the phone with little old ladies trying to figure out your goofy-a$$ GUI. If I was a deity, I'd make that your Hell. Trying to explain that crap to little old ladies. For eternity.

The wider Threshold project will also see updates released for Windows Phone and Xbox One.

You guys missed the boat on phones. Suck it up, cut your losses, and go home, okay?

With the new X-Box, you're now busy screwing the pooch on the only decent thing outside of operating systems that you had. Great ideas, guys, proposing that Orwell telescreen on there so that Big Brother Obama and Big Sister Hillary will see what you're doing every hour of the day. TV, sports, Call of Duty, sports, TV, TV, TV... hey guys, did you know that - this may come as a shock now, so hold on - did you know that there are BOO-KOODLES of other companies in the TV business, and who were there even before most of your programmers were twinkles in Vishnu's eye? I know, right? Color me shocked!

"The announcement of Windows 9, due out next year, demonstrates how enterprise IT will have support not just multiple devices or multiple platforms, but now multiple versions of Windows. The quicker release of Windows operating systems moves us away from the 15-year-old 'managed' Windows XP estate and to a place where multiple flavours of OS will be present," said Townsend.
"Longer term this will force enterprise IT to change the way they manage their estate. There will be a need to move away from managing devices and platforms at the OS level, and instead look at how applications, data and users are managed regardless of the device," he argued.

Jesus Henry, what the hell does any of this gobbledegook even MEAN? *facepalm*

I'll tell you what it means. It means the super ultra tech gurus don't have a clue. Not one. And when I become Emperor of the World, their bodies will be impaled and put on display in front of all of my non-vacation palaces. And then the impaling poles will be set on fire. And then I'll have Kate Upton and Jennifer Lawrence dance naked by the firelight. Because f*** you, Microsoft, that's why.

Windows 9 will become a focus for the new CEO at Microsoft, when he or she is selected, but it will also be the first major release to be developed wholly under the leadership of operating systems group VP Terry Myerson, who previously led the Windows Phone group.

*double facepalm*

Release the hounds.