Cops: Uncle stabs nephew for eating too many pork chops

CBS12 News ^ | October 22 2014 | Victoria Price

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FELLSMERE, Fla. (CBS12) -- A 61-year-old man was arrested after he stabbed his nephew during a fight over pork chops, Fellsmere police say.

Billy Wall and his nephew Charles Williams were arguing over the number of pork chops each one got to eat for dinner.

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Both men began to fight again after Williams said his nephew grabbed a machete and threatened him.

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You guessed it: Flori-duh.

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[ifinnegan]

At least he had a good reason, eh?

[Gluteus Maximus]

Grandpa’s wrong. It is mathematically impossible for anybody to “eat too many pork chops.” Especially if they’re nicely gilled after being marinated in vinegar, onions and garlic.

[Sarah Barracuda]

If Michelle Obama had been there, she would have said “Hey no reason to fight, just give me the chops and I’m take them off your hands”

[Slings and Arrows]

Or barbecued. Or Shake-and-Baked. Or...

[lee martell]

“Boy!” What is you doin? You dun eat up ALL the Poke-Chops in the tray. What am I ‘sposed to do? Just sit here and take a picture of you eatin my dinner?

[ansel12]

Normally it is easy enough to decide the right and wrong of things, but Southern fried pork chops are in a realm where none of us can be sure how we would have reacted.

It’s easy to be reasonable when you weren’t the one smelling them......savoring them......wanting more of them.

[RichInOC]

And to drink, all he wanted was a Pepsi...just one Pepsi...

[Kickass Conservative]

If they were cooking Bacon, it would have been a massacre.

[RC one]

I think a good punch to the face would have been sufficient.

[jobim]

That’s the hill to die on: Pork Chop

[RC one]

No, he’s on drugs.

[Slings and Arrows]

Normally it is easy enough to decide the right and wrong of things, but Southern fried pork chops are in a realm where none of us can be sure how we would have reacted. It’s easy to be reasonable when you weren’t the one smelling them......savoring them......wanting more of them.

There, but for the grace of G-d...

[tumblindice]

“his nephew grabbed a machete”

Because his uncle said, “Youngster, if you want my chop you’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers. Fo shizzle.”

[RightGeek]

Wall said he only got to eat one porkchop but his nephew ate three and thought his girlfriend didn't get to have any.

[VerySadAmerican]

We southerners love our fried pork chops and fried chicken.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8wLI4gHvts

[Slings and Arrows]

Sounds like he had suicidal tendencies.

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NOT GUILTY!

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> If they were cooking Bacon, it would have been a massacre.

Justified.