The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies review - exactly what it promised to be (3-stars)

The Guardian (UK) ^ | Tuesday 2 December 2014 03.02 EST

[HamiltonJay]

While I respect Tolkien for creating the Fantasy Genre, his books are some of the most boring ever written... I know I’ll get flamed for it, but its my opinion and nothing is going to convince me otherwise.

The taking of “The Hobbit” probably the least painful reading of all his works and turning it into 3 2+-3 hour long movies makes for movies that are just as dry and boring as most of his writings.

So, go ahead and flame away, but that’s the way I see it. You read Tolkien if you enjoy fantasy like a history lesson, its academic, not remotely entertaining.

[gymbeau]

Check out the BBC miniseries of Dune from a decade or so back. It’s a lot better than the David Lynch Debacle.

cheers
Jim

[huldah1776]

LOL Love history and so did Tolkien so that could be the issue. I remember reading “The Tell” and loved it. Gave sci-fi up (and most reading except the Bible and FR) a looooong time ago. History channel is ok but current events are not unlike reading about wars and rumors of wars so that could be why I don’t have to read fiction. Read the Hobbit and LOTR in the fall of 7 consecutive years back in the late 70’s early 80’s.

[HamiltonJay]

I love fantasy fiction, but I hate Tolkien, his writing is boring and slow moving, lets spend 5-10 pages describing the scenery, then have 2 paragraphs of plot movement..

Just not my cup of tea, and honestly I found the films based on his books just as slow moving, drawn out and boring as well.. the First movie in particular, whenever they finally did get to something that remotely resembled action, lets show it in super super slow motion to make it just as boring as possible.

I know their making money hand over fist on these, but for me, I find Tolkien’s books incredibly poor examples of the Genre. I respect them since they started the genre, but they are just not great reading.

If I were to have the $$ and decision making, I’d go after Dragonlance Chronicles to make into movies.. CGI is now to the level you could do this story justice, not sure why this has never been done... They did do some direct to video animation adaptations of it, but still shocked with things that have gotten movies in this Genre, this series still hasn’t. And if I wanted to do an EPIC I would probably try to tackle Memory, Sorrow and Thorn.

[shibumi]

If you're referring to the one that was aired on the Si-Fi Channel starring Alec Neuman and (pant! pant!) Daniela Amavia, I have it on DVD.

(sigh!)

It's "sorta OK" but still does not touch on the finer psychological aspects of the prescient development of the main characters, nor the specialized aspects of the other "types" like the Mentats or the Bene Tleilaxu.

In being better than the David Lynch film, it had a very, very low bar to hurdle. It was also a bit disconcerting when they change4d actors for some characters in midstream (Stilgar. Jessica Idaho) and when they "recycled the guy who played Kynes by shaving his head and making him Korba.

That called on the audience to make an extra effort in the "suspension of disbelief."

Except for the music. Toto's music was great.

(Darks! Ping for something to add to your eclectic mix - if it's not there already.)

And now an act of gratuitous pandering -

[Darksheare]

Hmm.. eclectic music tastes?
Like this?

[C19fan]

Saw both mini-series. Serious crush on Princess Irulan. I thought Paul was stupid for not dumping Chani for Irulan. LOL! The actress who played Irulan was gorgeous and they made her a very interesting character; intelligent, witty, and can chug Spice Beer with Gurney Halleck. ;) I know the mini-series fleshed out her character much better than the novels especially Dune. The soundtrack for Children of Dune was awesome.

[discostu]

Get deep enough into the Dune series and the boob count goes pretty high.

[shibumi]

Difference in taste.

Although ALL of the aforementioned women were/are gorgeous creatures, my personal preference was Daniela Amavia (Alia in COD) followed closely by Chani played by Barbora Kodetova.

But I’d be hard pressed to refuse any of them. (Except for Susan Sarandon. I wouldn’t do that on a bet.)

[huldah1776]

If I get the chance, I’ll read them. Tolkien was recovering from ww2 when he wrote and so his vision of peace on earth is a large part of writing. Not exciting, but peaceful.

[Altariel]

I should have known that the author was still freeping.

You just wanted everyone to believe you went on to your Eternal Reward back in the 70s.

;)

[Theophilus]

Jackson, you have thus far failed to reach my depth of disapointment with George Lucas. But keep on digging.

[kidd]

I saw the third installment of the Hobbit movie.

It has little to do with the book. Unlike the Fellowship of the Ring, which was true to the book and was visually stunning, the third Hobbit movie is an exercise in computer generated graphics.

The battle scenes are silly (14 dwarves somehow turn a losing battle against an enemy of tens of thousands into a win). Giant Dune-like sandworms are introduced, stick their heads out as some sort of terror item that will play a factor in the battle...but are never seen again (bizarre).

In the book, Bilbo returns to the Shire a rich hobbit, needing a pony to carry his share of the treasure back home. In the movie, Bilbo has it tucked under his arm and carries it with ease.

The movie trips over itself trying to make a tie-in to the LOTR trilogy (at the end of the movie: “up North you will find a strong leader. He has a young son named Aragorn who goes by the name of “Strider”. Perhaps he will be a strong leader too”).

Save your money until this one comes out on TV.